For Old Guys Only
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Next thing we know, we'll be at war with Australia.
Happy 'B' day, Dan. Just one more year and you won't have to sign in as a 'guest' when you post in this thread.
Tom
LOL, Tom. Won't be the first international incident I have caused.
My other Brother, Dan. (that still cracks me up) I get paranoid about identity theft and keep changing my bday date. I'm actually 50. Wut? Is the oldest I have ever been.
Some one in Hartford stole my identity and racked up $30K in charges with AT&T! Too dang funny. Seems I owned a "talk dirty to me" phone line. No kidding, aside from trying to clear up my credit, (I gave up and just waited it out) But every time I got pulled over, there was a warrant for this guy. Lucky for me he misspelled my name and the officers always asked if I had a brother.
I do and he also seems to always have warrants for his arrest. Shockingly enough, I am the good kid in my family. But we seem to have low expectations and constantly strive to achieve them, some day.
It's your Birthday???? That explains all the decorations in Moosylvania.
Happy Birthday Dan and may you always be two steps ahead of the Sheriff.
Steve.
Happy Birthday Dan and may you always be two steps ahead of the Sheriff.
Steve.
Thanks GN and Steve!
http://www.videobash.com/video_show/red-green-handyman-tip-quot-power-windows-quot-1999-1173222
Of all the things Canada has given the world, that is one of my favorites.
LOL, best show ever! "If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy"
http://www.videobash.com/video_show/red-green-handyman-tip-quot-power-windows-quot-1999-1173222
Of all the things Canada has given the world, that is one of my favorites.
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I'll break down and wish Dan(my other bro) a happy b-day, but I'm getting out of this conversation! Why? We have paranoia, ID theft,changing B-days, ***** ***, pulled over by police for whatever reason, warrants, and you're the good kid of the family? I know I wasn't the good kid in the family but I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now.
Have a good one!
Dan
Have a good one!
Dan
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Just so every body knows, I was just raggin' on the other brother Dan about his trevails, not being serious at all. You guys are hillarious and I try to match the wit but come up short at times. Nothing here will offend me, so I'm sorry if I came across as an A**. But then I come from such stellar stock I don't have to try to reach low expectations, it comes naturally. Hope I didn't kill the mood to much and keep up the good work.
I'll be looking in the Washington Post for the anticipated "international incident"
Dan
I'll be looking in the Washington Post for the anticipated "international incident"
Dan
LOL Dan. Your last line made me think of a thing. My Mother's husband passed yrs back (funny so far?) so my sister, brother (my other brother and favorite felon) and I sit with her. As we try to console her, my drunken and felonious older brother keeps trying to get her to eat something. After about 14 suggestions that she eat some thing, she lifts her face and says;
"Just once I'd like to see your name in the paper and not be referred to as "defendant" or "The accused"
Me and my sister start laughing.
To that,, and with out missing a beat, he replies; "Are you sure? I got toast in my pocket"
LOLOL.
Is now a joke in my house. Any time someone refuses food, the proper response is "are you sure? I got toast in my pocket"
"Just once I'd like to see your name in the paper and not be referred to as "defendant" or "The accused"
Me and my sister start laughing.
To that,, and with out missing a beat, he replies; "Are you sure? I got toast in my pocket"
LOLOL.
Is now a joke in my house. Any time someone refuses food, the proper response is "are you sure? I got toast in my pocket"
2 funny. Ya gotta get video and post it. LOL.
I have tried just that. (mostly by accident) Say some thing completely unrelated and off the wall to some one who is upset. Alls I ever get a an open mouthed stare, then a confused look. After that, they very often turn their palms up and skyward. Then walk away.
Which works for me. I love people but only from a distance. A great, great distance.
I have tried just that. (mostly by accident) Say some thing completely unrelated and off the wall to some one who is upset. Alls I ever get a an open mouthed stare, then a confused look. After that, they very often turn their palms up and skyward. Then walk away.
Which works for me. I love people but only from a distance. A great, great distance.
Dan,
About fifty years ago after a good night at the Place Pigalle on Avenue Rd. in Toronto we're on our way home and my brother asks if anyone wants a beer and a hot dog. He proceeds to reach into his coat pockets and produces a draft glass full of beer and a hot dog with the works.
At this point there are no takers so he downs these himself. I just called into the kitchen where his computer is and asked if he had a hot dog and a beer.
I suspect that he just sprayed his beer on the computer.
The Place Pigalle was a college hang out where it was more important to have the $1.50 for the pitcher of beer than proper I.D. and only fools went into the men's room wearing sandals.
Steve.
About fifty years ago after a good night at the Place Pigalle on Avenue Rd. in Toronto we're on our way home and my brother asks if anyone wants a beer and a hot dog. He proceeds to reach into his coat pockets and produces a draft glass full of beer and a hot dog with the works.
At this point there are no takers so he downs these himself. I just called into the kitchen where his computer is and asked if he had a hot dog and a beer.
I suspect that he just sprayed his beer on the computer.
The Place Pigalle was a college hang out where it was more important to have the $1.50 for the pitcher of beer than proper I.D. and only fools went into the men's room wearing sandals.
Steve.
Happy 'close to your birthday' Dan.
The wife and I only really do the ones on the 5's now, I mean how fun or exciting is 53 to celebrate for example.
after 25+ years of 'What do you want for your B-day honey'?
'New Slippers, Breakfast and a BJ works for me'.
..and it does ;-}
#1 most used: 'If it had been a snake, it would have bit Cory'.
Cory is the year older brother of my best friend and now lead MB helper Cole since high school.
Lets just say part of the family as we all still live here in town since '77 kept in close contact through many MANY things.
ANyway.... We did a lot of lake camping trips and on one I wasn't at Cory seen a baby snake Rattlesnake while looking for firewood and told who was there 'Watch This! I can catch him by the head!'
He did.
Then it turned it's head and bit him right in the soft fleshy area between his thumb and index finger.
Emergency air EVAC, tens of thousands in medical bills, bla bla bla.
He didn't loose his hand (it was that bad) but from then on any time anyone anywhere asked where something was and it was it right in front of them, you point at it and say 'If it had been a snake, it would've bit Cory'.
---
The other main one for decades is 'That's just Sick and Wrong Wanda'.
This dates back to the late '80's I think and so obscure I doubt a single one of know the origin, but here in Phoenix the Walgreen's Pharmacy ran some TV ad's promoting their film processing service.
Ya, film processing, long before digital camera's and the Internet and what you see in real Photo Albums.
Anyway the premise was Wanda's husband went into the kitchen and sees her in front of an open closet completely full and overflowing with loose pictures and and she was taking pictures of it.
The wife was all excited in that 80's sort of way about the cheap film processing she was taking pictures of the closet full of pictures.
You had to see it but the husband sees this and in a droll tone says
'you are taking pictures of your pictures? That's just sick and wrong Wanda'.
We use that line for a multitude of obsessive compressive things we see each other do and no need for any of the countless real examples here, you get the jest.
Other than my body wearing out I like being old and that reminds me of one of favorite songs Pandora fits in most every day about 'I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger'.
OK, one last one...
I pronounce napkins 'Ka-nap-ka-nins'.
Again this goes way back but I bought a cheap dollar store package of the the package said 'Knapkins', a label misprint or whatever but it was like 100's of them and I seen it on the bag every time so I made it fun and it still is.
The wife and I only really do the ones on the 5's now, I mean how fun or exciting is 53 to celebrate for example.
after 25+ years of 'What do you want for your B-day honey'?
'New Slippers, Breakfast and a BJ works for me'.
..and it does ;-}
I replied to this again for the Household Sayings thing, AKA the 'inside joke'.
#1 most used: 'If it had been a snake, it would have bit Cory'.
Cory is the year older brother of my best friend and now lead MB helper Cole since high school.
Lets just say part of the family as we all still live here in town since '77 kept in close contact through many MANY things.
ANyway.... We did a lot of lake camping trips and on one I wasn't at Cory seen a baby snake Rattlesnake while looking for firewood and told who was there 'Watch This! I can catch him by the head!'
He did.
Then it turned it's head and bit him right in the soft fleshy area between his thumb and index finger.
Emergency air EVAC, tens of thousands in medical bills, bla bla bla.
He didn't loose his hand (it was that bad) but from then on any time anyone anywhere asked where something was and it was it right in front of them, you point at it and say 'If it had been a snake, it would've bit Cory'.
---
The other main one for decades is 'That's just Sick and Wrong Wanda'.
This dates back to the late '80's I think and so obscure I doubt a single one of know the origin, but here in Phoenix the Walgreen's Pharmacy ran some TV ad's promoting their film processing service.
Ya, film processing, long before digital camera's and the Internet and what you see in real Photo Albums.
Anyway the premise was Wanda's husband went into the kitchen and sees her in front of an open closet completely full and overflowing with loose pictures and and she was taking pictures of it.
The wife was all excited in that 80's sort of way about the cheap film processing she was taking pictures of the closet full of pictures.
You had to see it but the husband sees this and in a droll tone says
'you are taking pictures of your pictures? That's just sick and wrong Wanda'.
We use that line for a multitude of obsessive compressive things we see each other do and no need for any of the countless real examples here, you get the jest.
Other than my body wearing out I like being old and that reminds me of one of favorite songs Pandora fits in most every day about 'I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger'.
OK, one last one...
I pronounce napkins 'Ka-nap-ka-nins'.
Again this goes way back but I bought a cheap dollar store package of the the package said 'Knapkins', a label misprint or whatever but it was like 100's of them and I seen it on the bag every time so I made it fun and it still is.
KC's mispronouncing 'napkins' made me think of something.
How many of you, and your families use words that were derived from childrens mispronunciations?
Maybe it was just my family but my Mom and Dad used to use words that we kids said.
Example: When she was very young my sister couldn't say 'sugar'. It came out 'sala'. So, whenever the word sugar came up it was 'sala', not sugar.
I had trouble with words too. All kids do, I think. I couldn't master 'spaghetti'. It came out as 'pagally'. Guess what spaghetti was called around our house.
These intentional mispronunciations didn't go away when we kids grew up. They remained a permanent part of our family's dialog.
Like I said, maybe it was just my family. But maybe not.
One of my problem words was a simple one. 'You'. It came out as 'jews' or 'juice' depending on how you heard it. That one got me in trouble once when I unthinkingly used my childhood pronunciation in the company of a 5th grade Jewish classmate. It resulted in him, quite naturally thinking I had made an anti-semitic remark.
I tried to explain but he didn't understand so we were never really friends after that. About five years ago I found that guy. He is a successful lawyer with a practice in St.Louis MO. I called, got him on the phone and reminded him of that event and explained again what I had said and why. He laughed, told me I was forgiven and now that we are both in out late 60s with children or grandchildren of our own he fully understood how a word, mispronunced by a child can get carried over into daily use.
Funny story but true.
Tom
How many of you, and your families use words that were derived from childrens mispronunciations?
Maybe it was just my family but my Mom and Dad used to use words that we kids said.
Example: When she was very young my sister couldn't say 'sugar'. It came out 'sala'. So, whenever the word sugar came up it was 'sala', not sugar.
I had trouble with words too. All kids do, I think. I couldn't master 'spaghetti'. It came out as 'pagally'. Guess what spaghetti was called around our house.
These intentional mispronunciations didn't go away when we kids grew up. They remained a permanent part of our family's dialog.
Like I said, maybe it was just my family. But maybe not.
One of my problem words was a simple one. 'You'. It came out as 'jews' or 'juice' depending on how you heard it. That one got me in trouble once when I unthinkingly used my childhood pronunciation in the company of a 5th grade Jewish classmate. It resulted in him, quite naturally thinking I had made an anti-semitic remark.
I tried to explain but he didn't understand so we were never really friends after that. About five years ago I found that guy. He is a successful lawyer with a practice in St.Louis MO. I called, got him on the phone and reminded him of that event and explained again what I had said and why. He laughed, told me I was forgiven and now that we are both in out late 60s with children or grandchildren of our own he fully understood how a word, mispronunced by a child can get carried over into daily use.
Funny story but true.
Tom
The only word that gave me issues when I was a wee lass was "because". Being the inquizative kid I was, I just couldn't understand when someone told me "just because".
I guess the word still kinda twerks my cojones.......Can't find a huge missing airliner ---better luck next time.........tell me "just because" and I might come unhinged.
I guess the word still kinda twerks my cojones.......Can't find a huge missing airliner ---better luck next time.........tell me "just because" and I might come unhinged.
I've got a couple. I invented the first 2;
1) Tapple - This is the little plastic cap on a wine vinegar bottle with a small hole in it so you can shake a small amount on your food.
2) Wicker - This is the nozzle on the pressurized whip cream can that you press sideways to dispense the cream.
My wife was into these kinds of custom words too. Her best (and I still use it) was;
The Groster - Just a cool condensation of the Grocery Store.
1) Tapple - This is the little plastic cap on a wine vinegar bottle with a small hole in it so you can shake a small amount on your food.
2) Wicker - This is the nozzle on the pressurized whip cream can that you press sideways to dispense the cream.
My wife was into these kinds of custom words too. Her best (and I still use it) was;
The Groster - Just a cool condensation of the Grocery Store.
LOL, invented words.
There used to be a comedian, Rich Hall, I believe was his name. On whatever show he was on he had a segment called, 'Sniglets'. It was words that weren't really words but those people had made up like Mike's 'Tapple'. He would ask viewers to send him the words and he would select the ones he liked and make a short video demonstrating what the word was and what it meant.
I sent in two and he used both.
Televacuphobia: That's the fear that you'll miss a phone call while you're running the vacuum cleaner. Hall did a vid where he was vacumming the floor but would stop and turn off the machine every couple of seconds to listen for the phone.
Liqui-motion: That's the funny posture people have when walking and trying to drink from a full cup without a straw. You know what I mean. They sort of take short jerky steps and lean over, shoulders hunched as they bring the cup to their mouth. He did a video of that too but actually filmed real people doing it.
Tom
There used to be a comedian, Rich Hall, I believe was his name. On whatever show he was on he had a segment called, 'Sniglets'. It was words that weren't really words but those people had made up like Mike's 'Tapple'. He would ask viewers to send him the words and he would select the ones he liked and make a short video demonstrating what the word was and what it meant.
I sent in two and he used both.
Televacuphobia: That's the fear that you'll miss a phone call while you're running the vacuum cleaner. Hall did a vid where he was vacumming the floor but would stop and turn off the machine every couple of seconds to listen for the phone.
Liqui-motion: That's the funny posture people have when walking and trying to drink from a full cup without a straw. You know what I mean. They sort of take short jerky steps and lean over, shoulders hunched as they bring the cup to their mouth. He did a video of that too but actually filmed real people doing it.
Tom
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My daughter, Anneliese, had a string of cutely mispronounced words. I can only remember a few:
Escolitos = we found out this meant "Mosquitoes".
Pillow Bugs = Pill bugs or sow bugs.
Scorffyrems = scorpions
Cowaburgers = Caterpillars.
She likes bugs and creepy things.
Escolitos = we found out this meant "Mosquitoes".
Pillow Bugs = Pill bugs or sow bugs.
Scorffyrems = scorpions
Cowaburgers = Caterpillars.
She likes bugs and creepy things.