For Old Guys Only

[Chaz]

Oh yeah, I remember punks and firecrackers. Some friends and I would set up elaborate scenes with the classic green plastic "army men" and then blow the heck out of them. Can you imagine seeing a 6 or 8 year old kid with firecrackers now?

As a teenager we used to have the Roman Candle fights. Just chase each other around the neighbourhood shooting at each other. Best done with a leather jacket and nobody ever got hurt... luckily, ha ha.

 

[fasteddy]

I've heard of terrible things done with zip guns. Basically a pistol stock carved out of a block of wood with a length of black iron pipe held on to the stock with some perforated plumbers strapping and roofing nails. A pipe cap with a hole in it for the wick to stick out and a marble or two rammed into the pipe with some wadding to help make sure the marble didn't let any of the explosion gases escape.

Four inch firecrackers provided the power.

It was always easy to spot the poor sod who didn't make sure that the barrel was anchored firmly to the stock. For every action there is an absolute and positive reaction. Most often refereed to as recoil.

The smarter zip gun owner made sure his face was as far away from the gun as possible when it went off and preferably not in line with it. In other word's, don't sight down the barrel.

Steve.

 

[fasteddy]

Chaz,

Plastic battle ships ect that we felt had out lived their usefulness and were sent down the Humber River in Toronto to live their last few seconds. You had to ballast them first in the bath tub so they stayed upright.

Steve.

 

[Chaz]

Steve, yikes, we never messed with the zip guns but we knew what they were. We had just enough sense to stay away.

A friend Rick put his little brother's, Toddfart, GI Joe in a blender. He was called Toddfart because he lit a fart while wearing pajamas and all the little fuzzballs went up in a flash. No harm done as it was just a quick flare up of the fuzz so nothing else caught fire. he he

I am presuming you lit the battleships on fire before launching.

good times

 

[fasteddy]

Chaz,

Some of us are more careful than others. As you said, a chimp with a gun and an idea. I have a remarkably close association with a young chap who spent most of a summer carefully crafting a golf ball firing cannon complete with wheel chair wheels. It worked remarkably well but it's immediate removal and necessary disposal was require to avoid possible criminal charges after an unplanned and unfortunate incident.

No hamsters were injured but they did find a need to get home as quickly as possible and change their shorts.

Four inch fire crackers, usually refereed to as cannon crackers in my neighbourhood, were used. Not only did they contain a large explosive force but they had a double wick that could have one side pulled lose to yield a double length wick that enabled sufficient get away time.

The boat would be well out into the current before they met their end. To add to the reality it helped to have a friend who's sister would let him have a can of hair spry she didn't want that would then be sprayed into hull of the ship.

As my poor sainted late mother used to say."Stephen was a difficult one to raise."

In my defense I always said I was born with an over active mind and the ability and the willingness to act on the ideas. It's been a curse my entire life.

Steve.

 

[Chaz]

Awesome Steve, thanks for sharing. You made me laugh and took me back to a time when the world was a bright and shiny new place, and, anything was possible.

Chaz

 

[2door]

They weren't around when I was a kid but I had a buddy back in the late 60s who would stick a Bic lighter in his mouth and depress the button so he could get a big mouthful of butane. Then, he would blow it out and light it. Scary but funny too.

I never tried it.

Tom

 

[paul]

this is kinda funny, we were telling the kids we were thinking about moving to Florida or some where warmer but still fairly close to home unlike the virgin islands. My daughter said "dad you always hated Florida why would you want to go their!" my response was because I looked at Florida as a place for old people" and i looked in the mirror lol

 

[Tinsmith]

Paul, I just don't look in the mirror. And, it works!

Dan

 

[2door]

Something else that works is to stop having birthdays. I refuse to acknowledge them and I haven't aged a day since 1983. Oh, forgot to mention that along with ignoring birthdays you have to get rid of all the mirrors in the house. And don't let people take photos of you that you'll later see.

Tom

 

[fasteddy]

I always told my kids when they were young that everything they did was building memories for when they were old. I'm out raking the yard one day and my son and his best pal at the time came into the driveway on their bikes at a terrific speed, sliding sideways and fighting for traction and dump their bikes in behind the house and disappeared.

It's like having my youth flash before my eyes and immediately I looking up the street and sure enough a police car is coming down the street very slowly and the officer is looking up each driveway. I sprint for the house and look out the window as he goes by and when I figure it's safe I go back to raking the lawn. I asked the little prince just what happened when he finally surfaced some hours later.

His reply? I'm just building memories dad.

Steve.

 

[KCvale]

As a teenager we used to have the Roman Candle fights. Just chase each other around the neighbourhood shooting at each other. Best done with a leather jacket and nobody ever got hurt... luckily, ha ha.

It was bottle rockets for us, and not really kids anymore.
Only did it once on a lake trip, a few drunk guys, at night, scattered around the cove at the lake we set up camp in.

Hand launching bottle rockets at each other!
Damn fast and surprisingly accurate projectiles it turns out.
All our wives knew it was idiotic in the first place, we proved them right when all of us came back wounded.

TIP: Don't play bottle rocket war with someone you call a friend, only enemies, as that wasn't as painless as lazer tag or paint ball tag, it's frigg'n explosive high velocity ordnance that really 'leaves a mark' with a hit, and that is surprisingly easy even for drunk guys at night.

I always told my kids when they were young that everything they did was building memories for when they were old. I'm out raking the yard one day and my son and his best pal at the time came into the driveway on their bikes at a terrific speed, sliding sideways and fighting for traction and dump their bikes in behind the house and disappeared.

It's like having my youth flash before my eyes and immediately I looking up the street and sure enough a police car is coming down the street very slowly and the officer is looking up each driveway. I sprint for the house and look out the window as he goes by and when I figure it's safe I go back to raking the lawn. I asked the little prince just what happened when he finally surfaced some hours later.

His reply? I'm just building memories dad.

Steve.

Priceless man.
I am fighting senility one old memory at a time and quite frankly, I am surprised to even still be alive ;-}

 

[2door]

Before Char and I were married I lived alone and my house was on a hill, higher than my neighbor who lived behind me. We used to have bottle rocket wars (and we were friends).

Either him or I would initiate the war by lobbing a rocket or two at the other's house. That would get things going. We got sophisticated with our launching methods. I devised a gun with a two foot barrel and a shield to keep the sparks from burning my hand. The long barrel really improved the accuracy. My neighbor, Paul, came up with a multiple launcher. A length of aluminum angle that he would set six or eight rockets in and light all the fuses quickly with a propane torch.

We both launched our attacks from our back decks and I had the advantage of being above him. One night I fired a round and it hit the edge of his deck railing, bounced and went through his sliding glass door, which he had left open, and into his living room where it exploded. Guess who was watching TV in the living room.

His wife put an end to our nightly wars pretty quick. She was not a happy lady.

Tom

 

[fasteddy]

KC,

The lad is now 45 and building memories in Argentina. He headed out in October 2014 from New Hampshire and except for coming back in the fall of 2015 for a month to attend a motorcycle meet and a 4x4 meet that he has been to for over 20 years, he has been on the road. He's riding a Yamaha 250cc dual sport.

He plans to leave his bike in Uruguay for a year and come back to New Hampshire to rebuild his money supply and rest up. He has developed a reputation on his blog site for taking roads that are rarely used or are more Llama path than road.

Uruguay is the only country in South America that will allow you to leave a vehicle in the country for a year without importing it into the country.

I never did find out what crime the two of them were getting away from but so many things that were considered nothing in our youth are now major crimes. Like shooting bottle rockets at each other.

Steve.

 

[fasteddy]

Tom,

A multiply bottle rocket launcher and a hand help launcher. Absolutely the state of the art in bottle rocket wars. I can picture the reaction to the bottle rocket sliding into the living room and going off.

Steve.

 

[KCvale]

KC,

The lad is now 45 and building memories in Argentina.

Uruguay is the only country in South America that will allow you to leave a vehicle in the country for a year without importing it into the country.

I never did find out what crime the two of them were getting away from but so many things that were considered nothing in our youth are now major crimes. Like shooting bottle rockets at each other.

Steve.

Hehehe, so cool.
I wish my son weren't the life sucking 25 year old junkie he is now.
Frigg'n Heroin. The drug that ****s everyone you know until you die. I'll leave it at that as it's real sore spot for me.

Such a cool kid with every possible break in life tuning into a Punk I literally have to follow around my house to keep him from robbing us blind.

Damn, I miss him so much too as he really was a cool kid whose future was so bright he had to wear shades, really, we are talking possible Pro Golf and Baseball careers. He can't even get a job flipping burgers now.
Heroin. A hideous life sucking drug that kills entire families.

Tom,

A multiply bottle rocket launcher and a hand help launcher. Absolutely the state of the art in bottle rocket wars. I can picture the reaction to the bottle rocket sliding into the living room and going off.

Steve.

Hahahha, sitting here thinking, I may have lived in an apartment without a sliding glass door once, but can't picture it for sure.
My shop has a huge one for example. If you live in the sun an entire wall of glass is kind of cool, especially with a huge chunk that will open to move things in and out.

Anyway back to fireworks...
M80's, about a quarter stick of dynamite, was our 'fun' firework and easily had from neighboring Mexico.

Harmless looking, about the size of a 1/3rd of a cigar, but man did they pack a punch, and waterproof, even the fuse.
Flush a lit M80 and you could really kill some plumbing.

Never did anything like that but some select mailboxes and assorted larger toys may have been injured with direct exposure so use with caution hehehe ;-}

Damn I miss my son.
He's trying, but most of his memories aren't the fun type, he killed all those brain cell memories that were fun.

I haven't given up though.
One day if and when he can kick the Big H I can remind him as we did take a lot of 35mm real pictures of what a great life he was having before he turned stupid.

Ouch, enough of that.

 

[Greg58]

A man has to have a good lawn mower! Then he says "hey y'all watch this".

https://youtu.be/qzVBpddpK2k

 

[Allen_Wrench]

A man has to have a good lawn mower! Then he says "hey y'all watch this".

https://youtu.be/qzVBpddpK2k

"Got so gosh-durned tired of it takin' me all day just to ride the lawnmower into town to get some stuff at the store. So I fixed that."

 

[johnnywheels]

I always told my kids when they were young that everything they did was building memories for when they were old. I'm out raking the yard one day and my son and his best pal at the time came into the driveway on their bikes at a terrific speed, sliding sideways and fighting for traction and dump their bikes in behind the house and disappeared.

It's like having my youth flash before my eyes and immediately I looking up the street and sure enough a police car is coming down the street very slowly and the officer is looking up each driveway. I sprint for the house and look out the window as he goes by and when I figure it's safe I go back to raking the lawn. I asked the little prince just what happened when he finally surfaced some hours later.

His reply? I'm just building memories dad.

Steve.

Absolutely love hearing stories like these...brings me back to when my boys were little. Thanks for the share Steve

 

[2door]

A man has to have a good lawn mower! Then he says "hey y'all watch this".

https://youtu.be/qzVBpddpK2k

That was one of the scariest things I've ever watched. I just knew at any moment something bad was going to happen.

Tom