Snork

[Dan]

LOL, Greg. I once took a good ol' beat down for making that joke in N.C.

"Drive fast and turn left, wut?"

Sincerely,

Dan Yankee (was my nicname)

 

[xseler]

We have public road pace cars here..............Highway Patrol cruisers! Everybody knows to form up nice and neat then follow them.

 

[2door]

We have public road pace cars here..............Highway Patrol cruisers! Everybody knows to form up nice and neat then follow them.

I won't do that. Not so much of a problem with the state boys but Denver is notorious for driving 55 in a 65 zone. There'll be a crowd all piled up behind him and her comes Tom. I'll blast passed, doing the speed limit. I refuse to be one of the sheep. I really believe they do it simply for the entertainment value. Or to see who has the balls to pass them.

Tom

 

[xseler]

Most here seem to run at or above the limit. If they are going slower, I'm also the one to lead the procession around them!

 

[Dan]

Had it coming;

"The 1969 Apollo 11 moon landing is a favorite of conspiracy theorists who assert that the landing was faked, and rather filmed on a sound stage. In September 2002, one such conspiracy theorist physically accosted the second man on the moon, Buzz Aldrin (whose mother’s maiden name was Moon!), demanding he swear upon a Bible (that the conspiracy theorist brought with him) that the landing was faked. Instead, Aldrin punched the guy. Authorities declined to press charges against Aldrin. (Here’s a video of the punch.)"

 

[2door]

Dan,
Are you sure about that link? It took me to a discussion on phantom phone calls.

Tom


EDIT: Oooops, sorry, clicked on the wrong link.
As for Buzz, I'd say he had 'The Right Stuff'.

 

[xseler]

Those calls were from a company called Capricorn One. The person on the other end sounded eerily like OJ.......

 

[Greg58]

Tom, scroll down the page its there.

 

[Dan]

It has long been my theory that the Salty Snack aisle at the Wal-Mart grocery stores is solid proof that God wants us to be happy and content.

Steve.

---------------------

 

[Dan]

LOL TJ. We gotta do a parody song. Instead of "Man of constant sorrows", do "Man of many work sheds" (OK, needs work)

 

[Dan]

LOL@ He was the smartest man ......"

I believe the last thing he said to me was, "Don't worry. The ground is plenty hard enough for the fork lift. I do it on here all the time."

He ran around in a circle like he had one foot nailed to the ground and a pitbull chasing him after it went 10' and sank like the Titannic. I wisely, I feel, held my thoughts to myself.

He was the smartest man he knew but personally I think he should have gotten out amongst the public and met more people.

Steve.

 

[Ludwig II]

Knock knock
Who's there?
Yoda
Yoda who?
One that I want, Yoda



I'll get my coat.

 

[KCvale]

This is Hilarious!

...I thought nothing of it when she saw the sausages I meant to grill and referred to them as the "hostages"....
Liesl sees the smokes coming out of the top of the grill and gets concerned. And with a silver-bell voice that could carry all the way to Michigan, she calls to me saying "Daddy, you're not supposed to burn the hostages!".

Hehehe, we call braughts Snausages and napkins are KaNapKeNinns here but ya gotta love Burning the Hostages ;-}

 

[xseler]

Wow! I thought I just felt an NSA snoop brush by.........all this talk about hostages.

 

[Ludwig II]

Did yez here about de Irish Special Force? Stormed Dublin Zoo, freed de ostriches and shot de gorrillas!

Newsflash! A light aircraft has crashed into Ballysilly cemetery. Rescue workers have recovered over 200 bodies so far.

 

[Dan]

LOL Lud;

https://www.google.com/search?q=hom...bMczGggSv-IDwBQ&ved=0CCAQsAQ&biw=1024&bih=537

 

[Allen_Wrench]

A little lesson in deduction from a public-transit commuter:
If the bus you're about to board has most or all of the windows open, the air conditioning unit is broken. Brace yourself. You get to find out what it's like to ride home in a Magic Chef.

I close my eyes and pretend it's a sauna. It doesn't help the heat, but it does help me forget about the rider next to me whose deodorant figuratively threw up its arms in defeat.

 

[Allen_Wrench]

Something I found both useful, and funny:

UNDERSTEER is when you hit the wall with the front of the car.

OVERSTEER is when you hit the wall with the rear.

HORSEPOWER is how fast you hit the wall.

TORQUE is how far you take the wall with you

 

[2door]

Dirt tracker: "Asphalt is for parking lots. Dirt is for racing"

Asphalt tracker: "Dirt is for growing potatos. Asphalt is for racing"

Home builder: "Pro-Built sucks"

Fenderless Car Owners: "If hot rods were meant to have fenders you wouldn't have to bolt them on"

Driven cars as opposed to trailered: "If you can't drive it, take it home and plant flowers in it."

Tom

 

[Greg58]

The late Benny Parsons was once asked what was the difference between a loose race car and a tight one, he told the interviewer " in a wreck with a tight car you see the wall when you hit it , in a loose car you don't see the wall because you back into it. I was at Atlanta last night for the nationwide race.