Snork

[Dan]

I have a shot at a DHL contract. (a really cool thing if I can get it)

But in researching it, I was speaking to a pilot and we ended up racing bar stools. As we started talking about this weird, little private airport we both have visited, he said

"Rich people are like veal. They don't walk far or wear socks" cracked me up

 

[xseler]

That pilot has never met the crowd I run with...........




.........wait...........they ain't rich.......


Never mind.

 

[Dan]

XMon, ya made me think of a thing. Last Valentine's day, I as always had a bag of hart shaped chocolates in my jacket pocket. (It is truly frightening that adult woman will and do take candy from strangers) Just any woman I run into, I say "Happy Valentine's day" and hand her/them one. Especially older woman who may not have some getting em a card, flowers or what ever.

But it is cold and icy. As I am walking out of a restaurant, a woman is sitting in the parking lot. I say hi and walk past. Then it dawns on me, that ain't right. Turn and ask her "are you OK?"

She says yes and that she had slipped on the ice.

She was very embarrassed. I give her a hand up and a chocolate. I then tell her no one saw so no worries. She responds, (while unwrapping the candy and popping it in her mouth, she received from a total stranger in a dark parking lot)

"Just looked weird, eh?"

"Nope, not in my crowd"

all that typing and not all that fun to read but was a cool moment. The opportunity to help some one feel better, sort of deal.

 

[xseler]

This sure seems familiar.........

 

[xseler]

I've heard many people call farts 'intestinal music'......

I wonder if that means turdicles are 'sheet' music??

 

[Dan]

What about Moosylvania!? My beloved (summer) home.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMkYlIA7mgw

 

[Goat Herder]

That was fun Info

Funny History there!

 

[2door]

Fact:
In early 1934, Canada and the United States were involved in a little known war over the border line which unfortunately divided, Moosylvania. The battle raged for months with the body count mounting and war expenditures running into the millions, the two countries decided to end the war and share the area thereby ending the hostilities which threatened the otherwise ful relationship between the two countries.

March, 22, 1934, Moosylvania, from that day forth, became the property of the United States of American and Canada. The two country flags are always displayed together, alternating which is above the other on a daily basis. The official language alternates between American English and Canadian weekly which poses some problems with street signs and business advertisements which must be changed to coincide with the prevailing language being used on that date.

Tourists visiting the city must show their passports on the weeks when the country, America or Canada is in force. Example: If you're an American visiting Moosylvania on a Canadian week, you will need to pass through customs when entering or leaving the city. Conversely, Canadian visitors will be required to undergo border scrutiny on those weeks when America is the controlling authority. This can get confusing when a visitor enters on his countrie's days but decides to spend the night/s and leaves on the other countrie's day. Some tourists have reported long border delays while the jurisdictional conflicts are settled.

Taxes, Police and fire protection, city government and even trash collection has been an ongoing burden due to the decisions made in 1934. Negotiations are currently in progress to move the border so the city will be either American, or Canadian but talks have been stalled by stubborn politicians who refuse to acknowledge the border changes because of the potential loss of kick backs they get from the people responsible for changing the street signs.

And that's NBC Nightly News for tonight. Brian Williams here, and have a good evening.


Tom

 

[Greg58]

Hey Tom I think I hear Rocky and Bullwinkle in the back ground!

 

[xseler]

.

I've come to a realization........

The only difference between a 'brown noser' and a 'booty kisser' is depth perception.

.

 

[rustycase]

Moosylvania???

that's it... I've had it!

It's time to invade the land of the bluenose and show em!

We could spend trillions...

Wait a moment... the 'body count mounting'???
How many moose were injured or killed?

This is not good.
PETA will get really ticked off!

I'd better get back to reality... the nuts and bolts of things.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyRJeZ6s8uM

Best
rc

 

[xseler]

Hmmm, a different perspective! I always thought that Moosylvania was more of a cow thing.....

 

[Dan]

Can't we all just get a moo?

 

[Dan]

Hmmm, a different perspective! I always thought that Moosylvania was more of a cow thing.....

This is really funny, Xmon. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSVq7X7OPeQ

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moosylvania

The guy who presented this (Making an actual island the home of Rocky and Bullwinkle) to JFK, as a joke, did so during the Cuban missile crises. No one out side the Oval office knew this was going on at that exact moment.

Not that that was at all funny but he got ran off from the white house (reported that the guard unsnapped his side arm and yelled at him) and he was POed with out understanding why.


Moosyvania, a land so bad, it dost not have an anthem.... but sing with me!

When I hit lotto, I am buying a ship and renaming her Moosylvania

 

[rustycase]

My perspective changes with each video I watch.

I STILL post in the Singles Column, searching for Natasha.

Miley Cyrus is running a close second now.

 

[Dan]

My very elderly mother texted me the following;

"Hi, wut up?" My Mother did in fact say "Wut up?" went on to say; "hope all is well. Very boring here at the home on the weekend. luv Mom

I replied;

You folks aren't having wild parties and orgies every weekend?

My very elderly Mother's reply;

"Heeel yes but the men are half dead and I refuse to play nurse....

It goes down hill from there.

 

[Bikeguy Joe]

Maybe someone will find this funny-
My grand daughter asked me "What do you do for work, 'do papers', like my dad?"

I said "No, I paint, fix stuff, help out with projects, and so on."

She interrupted me at "I paint" to say; Oh, ANYONE can paint, it's just like wavin' a checkered flag!"

I got a kick out of it.

 

[Allen_Wrench]

My daughter Liesl has always had a bit of trouble with consonants and pronunciation. Sometimes it's very cute. Like "escalitos" for mosquitoes, "cowaburgers" for caterpillars, "scurffyrems" for scorpions, and stuff like that. So I thought nothing of it when she saw the sausages I meant to grill and referred to them as the "hostages". (She wouldn't even know what a real hostage is, but I had no idea this would go downhill.)

So I'm outside now, grilling my bratwürst. I'm chilling in a chair, minding the grill, sipping a beer, staring up at the sky, smelling the meat cooking, and generally not doing much. Liesl sees the smokes coming out of the top of the grill and gets concerned. And with a silver-bell voice that could carry all the way to Michigan, she calls to me saying "Daddy, you're not supposed to burn the hostages!"
Five passers-by spun their heads hard enough to get whiplash when they looked my way. I called back "SAUSAGES! Liesl, they're sausages! I'm cooking sausages!" For some reason it took a while for the strange looks to fade.

 

[xseler]

Sounds like something a 'tourist' would do ---- burn'n hostages!! What's the world coming to??!!

 

[Greg58]

My nieces son is in the first grade and having trouble with spelling, not trouble with being smart enough to learn but he doesn't think he needs to learn to read. He told my brother in law that he wanted to be a fireman, after he was told that firemen had to read street signs to find fires he paused a few seconds as if he were thinking of a way out of the situation. After a while he said OK I changed my mind I'm going to be a race car driver "all they have to do is turn left".