Great read, I need to let my son read that! Just kidding , my son is very respectful of me. Merry Christmas to all.
For Old Guys Only
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I agree but I must admit my rear end got lots of punishment . I was so well known to be at the center of most mischief that the principle called my to his office for something that had happened at school . Two days later he called me to his office again to say sorry it wasn't you . He gave me a slip of paper that said I had a free pass the next time I got in trouble . I stayed out of trouble for almost 3 months because I didn't want to lose my free pass . But then I snuck off campus to the store across the street during lunch . Got called to the office and lost my free pass . Heck if some one had tried time out on me I would have laughed my head off . Well Merry Christmas to all
Too funny Fredric. Staying out of trouble to preserve your "get out of jail free" card so that next time you got in trouble, you could get out of trouble.
I completely understand this. I was the same kinda kid. Always in some sort of, er situation. We must have gone to different schools together.
I completely understand this. I was the same kinda kid. Always in some sort of, er situation. We must have gone to different schools together.
So what I gather from the elephant study reinforces my belief that if you don't "bonk" a kid when he/she misbehaves you end up with what we see today; too many kids that have no direction, no respect and the result is tragedies like Columbine.
Take away 'bonking' both in the schools and at home and the hormones can run amuck.
Did I get that right?
I got 'bonked' a few times too and know what? I remember every lesson it taught me to this very day. And I was never injured or traumatized by the 'bonk'. And the 'bonker' need not be a grandparent. Anyone in a position of authority can administer the 'bonking' and the effect is the same.
(Please don't confuse 'Bonking' with 'Boinking', which is a whole different thing)
Tom
Take away 'bonking' both in the schools and at home and the hormones can run amuck.
Did I get that right?
I got 'bonked' a few times too and know what? I remember every lesson it taught me to this very day. And I was never injured or traumatized by the 'bonk'. And the 'bonker' need not be a grandparent. Anyone in a position of authority can administer the 'bonking' and the effect is the same.
(Please don't confuse 'Bonking' with 'Boinking', which is a whole different thing)
Tom
When I was a kid I lived in fear of the wooden spoon. This was the punishment of last resort when I had worn Mom to a frazzle. She gave me lots of warning too. It was a 3 step process;
1) "If you don't stop that I'm gettin' the spoon"
2) Rattles drawer and announces "I'm gettin' the spoon"
3) The actual deed was done with no further announcments, one whack on the ass with the spoon.
I didn't get too many whacks -
I forget when corporal punishment was abandoned, I think when I was about 7.
The new punishment was the worst a kid could get though, grounding. Can't leave the house. That really sucked. I'd rather have a whack on the ass than not be able to go out and play.
1) "If you don't stop that I'm gettin' the spoon"
2) Rattles drawer and announces "I'm gettin' the spoon"
3) The actual deed was done with no further announcments, one whack on the ass with the spoon.
I didn't get too many whacks -
I forget when corporal punishment was abandoned, I think when I was about 7.
The new punishment was the worst a kid could get though, grounding. Can't leave the house. That really sucked. I'd rather have a whack on the ass than not be able to go out and play.
LOL Tom. @the bonking confusion.
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I had read that exact story yrs back and the article didn't mention adults thwacking the kids. I honestly thought just good adults acting right had the effect of encouraging the youngins' to conduct themselves correctly.
Saw an interview of a very old man recently. He was adopted as a kid after some really horrible stuff. He was talking about his Dad (adoptive) and his punishment was a "talking to" The very old gentleman broke into tears after saying that the "talking to" ended with "I love you. I don't love every thing you do, but I love you."
I am in no way disagreeing with any one here. Was just my interpretation of the article.
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I had read that exact story yrs back and the article didn't mention adults thwacking the kids. I honestly thought just good adults acting right had the effect of encouraging the youngins' to conduct themselves correctly.
Saw an interview of a very old man recently. He was adopted as a kid after some really horrible stuff. He was talking about his Dad (adoptive) and his punishment was a "talking to" The very old gentleman broke into tears after saying that the "talking to" ended with "I love you. I don't love every thing you do, but I love you."
I am in no way disagreeing with any one here. Was just my interpretation of the article.
LOL Xman.
(Should have googled it before going out)
I said that kiddingly but bet a kid today would do just that. 2 funny
I remember thinking when I got out of marine boot camp, "Those Drill Instructors thought that they were pretty tough, I laughed and said they could learn a lot from my old man"!
Many years later my father said to me "I'm sorry for all punishment I gave you when you were young". I told him the truth "You never gave me a whippen that I didn't well deserve" and a lot of times I deserved even more!
Many years later my father said to me "I'm sorry for all punishment I gave you when you were young". I told him the truth "You never gave me a whippen that I didn't well deserve" and a lot of times I deserved even more!
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We had the same kind of dad, mine just passed at 80 a couple months ago.
I have always been ADHD so prone to mischief, dreaded the paddle in school as well as the 'wait 'tll your father gets home' threat from Mom.
Fast forward to the middle of my life when our only child, a son, was born in 1990 that not only looks just like me, has my ADHD and propensity for mischief as well, the thing is in my day it was all stuff we just thought up at the time and place.
In short any other pranks, stupid stunts, 'fun' was at best word of mouth and back then the simple fun was the best.
My son grew up at home with me working from home so there all the time building state of the art PC's and learning the brand new World Wide Web while his mom worked the 8-5.
Sure he did things he needed to learn the hard way with a switch, and with the lesson about 'go get me spanking switch' because to me that is the magic, the time a kid spends thinking about what lesson he needs to learn while choosing the device that will soon be whacking the lesson into his butt.
We did our part raising him, a parent at home all the time, we kept him in sports, mostly baseball and golf but everything popular at least once, and it was easy because no kidding, my wife and genes made one heck of a good looking athlete and he was good at everything.
Then came his Junior year of high school and our whole families downward spiral to him being behind bars at 24 with a Federal record as I type, the loss of our home and separation of my wife 20+ years.
I seen it coming and that is what started the fighting between my wife and I, 'new reports suggest corporal punishment does not work' and my wife, the mother of single child, thought that was the way to go especially considering what a 'dick' my pop's was in her eyes.
It didn't work. He didn't make Varsity Junior year and dropped all sports Senior year to go drug up and get in trouble leavbing a wake of busted cars, visits from the cops and to the jail, not to mention the thousands in legal fees.
For over a year it was just my 8-5 wife and kid in the house and he didn't work or go to school and not ANY male adult 'put you in your place' but that is partly my fault, the last couple of times I stood up to him the prick beat me up, I am talking another broken collar bone from a violent shove.
Fast Forward to 18 months ago.
With my son out of the picture, the wife and I have been back to living in the same place for over a year now and we feel like we did back before the downfall. Happy.
But the best part is she has finally accepted that maybe her insisting I change how I had raised our son his whole life at the host crucial high time to this new 'The Reports Say..' crap may not have been good advice.
Now to the present.
Our son gets out of prison at 24 in a few months with nothing.
I hope there were grandpa elephants where he has been.
Of course will take him in and give him every last chance we can before a real man but no codling, we are are united on this now, get your act tohter with this last free chance or you are out on the street and don't bother calling until you are.
Harsh but it didn't have to come to this is my point.
I think if it weren't for that anti 'spare the rod' crap you'd be seeing my son TV Golf or Baseball as his future was so bright he had to wear shades and we let him piss it all away in a couple short years.
Just a first hand account and who knows maybe the kid will do OK but you can't get back the best part of your life that to this day are cherished memories of mine.
My Mothers favorite weapon was the yard stick. I swear to this day that the woman had one behind every door and chesterfield in the house. She could grab you and have a yard stick in her hand with in seconds in every room in the house.
Minor offenses it was the wide flat side and if it you really had stepped on her last raw nerve you got the thin edge and yes you could tell the difference.
The other option was my Dad and I have no problem telling you that you would have been happier if you dropped your pants and backed bare arsed into a large spinning fan. Less pain and speedier recovery.
I went up the street with the Dad in full pursuit many times but being a bit of a champ when it came to running he never caught me.
Often wish that he was here so I could say I'm sorry.
Steve.
Minor offenses it was the wide flat side and if it you really had stepped on her last raw nerve you got the thin edge and yes you could tell the difference.
The other option was my Dad and I have no problem telling you that you would have been happier if you dropped your pants and backed bare arsed into a large spinning fan. Less pain and speedier recovery.
I went up the street with the Dad in full pursuit many times but being a bit of a champ when it came to running he never caught me.
Often wish that he was here so I could say I'm sorry.
Steve.
Dang Steve. I know from experience what a yard stick feels like. Once called Mom some thing like "Ninja foo, yard stick master" (as an adult, armed and closer to the door) She was not amused and I was scared.
One of my customers had a buyer that was a real pistol, a genuine free spirit. She told me that her sister was even more "out there".
The sister had a teenage son that misbehaved as all do and didn't like that he was being punished. So he shoved Mom up on the counter. Mom administered a straight right hand that put junior on the deck. Junior thought that a bit extreme and called child protective services and was put in foster care.
He eventually saw the error of his ways and told Ma he was sorry, made a mistake and wanted to come home. Ma told him that he made 3 mistakes;
1) Defiance
2) Assault
3) Retribution
Three strikes and you're out. Enjoy your new life in the foster care system.
The sister had a teenage son that misbehaved as all do and didn't like that he was being punished. So he shoved Mom up on the counter. Mom administered a straight right hand that put junior on the deck. Junior thought that a bit extreme and called child protective services and was put in foster care.
He eventually saw the error of his ways and told Ma he was sorry, made a mistake and wanted to come home. Ma told him that he made 3 mistakes;
1) Defiance
2) Assault
3) Retribution
Three strikes and you're out. Enjoy your new life in the foster care system.
Dan,
Mom only had the hardwood yard sticks and they didn't break like the softwood ones.
Your braver than me. I wouldn't mention it to her even today because I know she has one hidden some where within reach.
Steve.
Mom only had the hardwood yard sticks and they didn't break like the softwood ones.
Your braver than me. I wouldn't mention it to her even today because I know she has one hidden some where within reach.
Steve.
KC,
Sorry to hear about your son. There is nothing like that to give you a personal version of Hades as you watch your child spiral downwards out of control and you have no way of stopping it.
I sincerely hope that your son having seen the inside of a federal prison and having had to fight for what was his every day learned a lesson and tries to get back some of what he has lost. I have a couple of close personal friends who were there and one of them was there for a long time. They told me what it was like and one of them worked with juvenile offenders and those who had newly arrived in prison. Kind of hard not to listen to a well tattooed biker who is 6'8" and 350 pounds.
I hope your son makes it back into society and into your lives.
Steve.
Sorry to hear about your son. There is nothing like that to give you a personal version of Hades as you watch your child spiral downwards out of control and you have no way of stopping it.
I sincerely hope that your son having seen the inside of a federal prison and having had to fight for what was his every day learned a lesson and tries to get back some of what he has lost. I have a couple of close personal friends who were there and one of them was there for a long time. They told me what it was like and one of them worked with juvenile offenders and those who had newly arrived in prison. Kind of hard not to listen to a well tattooed biker who is 6'8" and 350 pounds.
I hope your son makes it back into society and into your lives.
Steve.