For Old Guys Only

[Buzzard]

Church Fart

This says it all about getting older & the whole aging thing.

An elderly couple, Lucy & John, were recently attending church services at The Villages.

About halfway through the service, Lucy took a pen and paper out of her purse, wrote a note and handed it to John.

The note said "I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"

John scribbled back, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

buzzard

 

[george_n_texas]

Really good read wisdom from a 90 year old lady:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?...234747473748.175892.1437285044&type=1&theater
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 42 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it..

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

10. Make with your past so it won't screw up the present.

11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.



12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...

14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

22. The most important sex organ is the brain.

23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

25. Always choose life.

26. Forgive but don’t forget.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..

31. Believe in miracles.

32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

34. Your children get only one childhood.

35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

39. The best is yet to come...

40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

41. Yield.

42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

 

["the prussian" Shop Dogs]

I need a shirt that has number 27 on it ...

 

[Dan]

LOL Dogs, me 2.

Maybe 37.....

Some pretty amazing wisdom. Thanks for posting George.


LOL Buzzard. Cracked Carol up too.

 

[fasteddy]

Dan,
I'd have to go with #37 also. Every time I complain someone has a better complaint, a greater illness or a worse engine problem.
On the other hand I'm sure that I'll live to 103 just so God can get even with me for all the times he saved me from bigger problems than I had.

Steve.

 

[Dan]

I mean this Steve, you always amaze and make me think.

For the love of Good, could ya stop!? . And you typ fast too! (I read aslow)

snork Buddy. You really do and always make a good point.


Only the good die young. The interesting get analyzed.

 

[fasteddy]

Dan,
I've written about this before on the forum but when things are quiet and there are just me and the memories I wonder how I survived being hit by two cars, one doing a good 40 mph and the other about twenty five. I demolished a 1965 VW and I do mean demolished, about 15 feet through the air, bounced off the hood of the other car, got up and told everyone I was ok.
Then at the local hospital my brother was told that I was as good as dead and was on my way to the city hospital to finish the journey.

There the good doctor who was also a plastic surgeon was sewing up the soon to be corpse and I came to. Six days later I walked out of the hospital on crutches and went home. Other than arthritis I have no other complaints and other than a few small scars to show for it.
My skull still has sever dents in it where I hit the windshield post and pushed it back about 6 inches but they don't show.

It will be 103 brother. I owe it to Him.

Steve.

 

[Dan]

I love ya man! (Said man, so it's not weird)

25MPH? I'll see ya at 104+. I will be drooling and unaware of my surroundings, but hey...

No kidding Brodder, you really do have to do a book. Think of it as a cautionary tale. (LOL, I know you caught that)

 

[Dan]

....unless your getting on

 

[fasteddy]

Dan,
I'm 70 in September but I'll wait till you catch up. The whole weird part of the story is that my brother was driving the second car. It took from 1965 until about 5 years ago when I moved back from the U.S. and my nephew and nieces wanted to hear his side of the story and he opened up a very little bit about what happened. The pain is still too much for him.

I could write a book about why you shouldn't poke an angry bear in the a** with a short, sharp stick but as my son told me one time when he was trying some stunt and I told him where it would lead to "I know your right but I just have to try it and find out for myself'. He survived but he found out and I'm still laughing.

As my uncle who was a guest of the Japanese Army in WW2 answered when, as a kid, I asked him what it was like, he just said that if I was there I would know and if I wasn't there was no way he could possibly tell me so I would understand.

Steve.

 

[fasteddy]

Of course having people tell their kids that if they keep on the path they're on they will wind up just like me has probably stopped more little hoodlums in their tracks than anything else.

Steve.

 

[fasteddy]

Curtis Fox sent me this a little while ago. While I realize that only a hand full of you old guys can associate with this, if that dog had been a beagle named Spot that would have been me.
The rest of you I know listened to you mothers and stayed out of the mud puddles.

Steve

http://www.bombbomb.com/videoland/index.php?vid=698ef524-730d-4afa-9e78-aea9d16ecf9f

 

[2door]

Steve,
That was delightful. Being the dog lover I am I had to save that one for future enjoyment. Oh, and mine was named 'Butch'.
Thanks friend.

Tom

 

["the prussian" Shop Dogs]

That was great ,i love how the kid lines himself up for the hot lap! Reminds me of wandering the logging roads of wisconsin with my old dog "junkyard" . We would have both come home to a run under the hose. Played my heart strings like a banjo...

 

[Greg58]

Who remembers 5-56 spray lubricant, motor oil in a can you had to stick a pointed spout into, and the oil was straight 30w. I have the original owners manual that came with my 1950 ford sedan, in it is said to mix one quart of kerosene with four quarts of oil in the winter. Thanks to the engineers that came up with multi-weight oils.

 

[Buzzard]

Back in the 50s during the Korean war anti -freeze was hard to come by. So we mixed alcohol and water for the radiator in the old cars to keep them from freezing up, it worked good until the alcohol boiled off then you had to do it all over again.
Mixing diesel fuel and water in the radiator in heavy equipment would keep it from freezing up. They said that water and diesel fuel don't mix but it will gel up and not freeze. Used to take the pony motor battery out of an old D6 Dozer inside to keep it warm. Take a couple bags of charcoal and light it off, when the grease started running our of the belly pan you knew she was hot enough to start, install the battery and start the pony engine. Boy would it hammer and pound.
In cold weather I started my 1929 Model A using a plumbers blow torch to heat up the intake manifold. When it got hot enough, give it a ouple licks with the crank , set the spark and throttle and it would fire right up. (remember to keep your thumb over the bar -just a warning) Now all you have to do is push a button and your car will start up in the drive way while you're having coffee at the kitchen table.
I came into this world with nothing and I still got most of it.
If everything's lost where did it go??
It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.
buzzard
xx

 

[2door]

Who remembers the 'Y' block Ford V8 that had a dual action fuel pump? It pumped gasoline but also served as a vacuum pump for the windshield wipers. What could, and eventually would happen is the diaphram would go bad and allow gasoline to fill the crankcase. Instead of oil you had a couple of gallons of diluted soup that wasn't the greatest lubricant in the world.
The same engine had a problem with oiling the rocker arms after a few thousand miles. The oil passages would clog up and the only way to keep the engine running, unless you had it boiled out and rebuilt, was to install external oilers that were copper tubing that you had to install into the valve covers and was fed directly from the oil pump. Probably the ugliest fix I've ever seen but it kept a lot of those old Fords on the road.

Tom

 

[Greg58]

That sounds like the 272,292,312 engine design, I may be wrong but that engine had rocker arm problems quite a bit.

 

[2door]

That sounds like the 272,292,312 engine design, I may be wrong but that engine had rocker arm problems quite a bit.

That's the engines. Great old long stroked mills with all kinds of torque but they didn't wind up too tight. The 265/283 Chevys had them beat in the high RPM department. Still, they were tough motors and they are gaining in popularity with today's street rod crowd. I have a friend who has a fully detailed 312 on a stand in his garage with the factory dual quad manifold used on police cars in 1957. He doesn't know what he's going to put it in yet but he has the engine ready. Great looking engine even if they were a bit bulky.

Tom

 

[Greg58]

Tom in the late 70's I worked full time in a auto parts machine shop that's where I learner of the valve train problems with that engine, one day I heard a friend that lived across the street one house up pull in his driveway in a truck knocking so loud. When I asked about it he said he only gave 100$ for it, it was a 1961 3/4 ton with a 292. When we pulled of the right valve cover two push rods had worn through the rocker arms, he drove that truck over to Carrolton Ga to work for nearly ten years after the minor repairs we made.