You Might Be A Geezer If

What is funny to one person or group can be completely lost on another. They were funny to the child I was at the time.
 
Dear Viagra, & others, I am greatful for your intrest in my well being. I find no need for your products at this time. If I need a boost in my well being, I have several Motorized bikes that produce the same effect. AARP I find your offers useful, your offers of helping me in my old age. Your offers to join soak up oil quite well. Regards, Saddletramp rotfl
 
I went to the chemist (pharmacy to you) and asked for some tablets. But I think I got confused, is it Viagra or Niagara? You'll have to excuse me a moment, I have to go again....
 
On the Buses was never funny . It was used as a torture device and to force children to do their homework . We were given the choice of watching it or doing our homework . I am now great at Geography .

When I was 18 a 24 of Labatts Blue was $6.05 .
 
There's a theme for a Mission Impossible episode, "Write a script that will make Reg Varney amusing".

Trust me, America, you don't know how lucky you were.
 
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene asks What in the **** is that?
Jane says A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene asks Where did you get it?
Jane says You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately, asks what brand of condoms she prefers.
Arlene says Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.

The pharmacist fainted.

buzzard
x
 
Sorry for staying off topic for one more post..


Insanity.jpg
 
buba here

i wish i had a anecdote or two but will just post
to get the thread up to the top of the list

any funnies anyone
 
Buba, I was waiting for some one to say they had one, but forgot what it was. LOL

Or I was waiting for a bus. not really sure now.

Great thread. Glad you bumped it up.
 
...your wife suggests you throw out some of the valuable 'stuff 'that you might need one day that has been sitting in the corner of the shop or garage for ten years.
 
LOL Greg, the day you throw out that bent spring, odd bolt, thingakumbob. Not a yr or 3 later, it might have fit or worked.....
 
I do not have tat, scrap, junk or rubbish. I have raw material stock which acts as an insurance against things breaking. While I have threaded bar, nuts, bolts, bits of ready perforated steel, brackets and mounting plates, nothing will fail. Experience has shown that once you throw these powerful magic talismans away, the wheels fall off every farking thing.
 
Thus, using the Geezer philosophy, you plan your next political move? Store up everybody else's broken policies until the day you can cut the front off one and the back off another and then stitch all the parts together randomly, hoping vaguely for someone who knows what to do to come along.
 
Exactly! that and use words like "proactive" with forward momentum. Never giving up on the hope that we continue to persevere, while pushing on using the tried and true methods and parts that have served us all, oh so well for lo, these many years. All the while, creating some thing new from the scrap pile. Err, spare parts....

you know wut I meant to mean.
 
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Saddletramp1200 said:
Dear Viagra, & others, I am greatful for your intrest in my well being. I find no need for your products at this time. If I need a boost in my well being, I have several Motorized bikes that produce the same effect. AARP I find your offers useful, your offers of helping me in my old age. Your offers to join soak up oil quite well. Regards, Saddletramp rotfl
Click to expand...

My wife asked me to go to the Doctors about my erection problem...

She wasn't pleased when I came back home and gave her some Slimming Pills
 
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