You Might Be A Geezer If

[Michigan Mike]

The other day I bought 40 magazines at a yard sale for a nickle apiece.
Great buy. When I paid the lady the $2 I told her that it was good I didn't buy one more or I wouldn't be able to carry them. I was joking ... she asked me if she could help me ... she WASN'T joking. Could it be I'm starting to look my age?!

More than once the greeter at Walmart has called me "young man" with a grin ...
what's that all about?!

Anybody else out there suspect they might be getting older by the day?
Feel free to add to this "You Might Be A Geezer If" list ...

"YOU MIGHT BE A GEEZER IF:"

You have no idea who just waved at you

You're thinking suspenders don't really look all that bad

You can't bend over without saying "Oooh Boy"

You stand in the garage wondering what you went out there for

Your eyebrows are getting hard to see through

You can't believe how dumb everybody else is getting

You forget why you're "on hold"

You keep repeating yourself

You keep repeating yourself

.

 

[Srjeeper]

You can hide your own Easter Eggs.

You can hide your own Easter Eggs.

 

[2door]

You wonder why they're hiring children to work as bank tellers.

You have flannel shirts older than your oral hygienist...and maybe your dentist.

People smile and wave when you ride past them on a motorized bicycle when twenty years ago they would have flipped you off.

I could go on all night....

Your idea of a morning romp is watching 'Animal Planet' with your first cup of coffee.
Tom

 

[Dan]

Harr Mike, ayup and fo'shore. I prefer to think of it as signs of a busy mind and a tired stature.

Actual IM to Carol; "Baby, my butt itches and I can't find it" Answer; "It's right where you left it, on the couch!"

Wut? I had a ruff week

 

[Dan]

You wonder why they're hiring children to work as bank tellers.

You have flannel shirts older than your oral hygienist...and maybe your dentist.

People smile and wave when you ride past them on a motorized bicycle when twenty years ago they would have flipped you off.

I could go on all night....
Tom

Tom, if you ever wanted to call a police officer "Son", you might be a geezer...... LOL! know what you mean about bankers

 

[bairdco]

i've been skateboarding all my life. i was in an empty swimming pool in the backyard of an abondoned house recently, and the cops came. i didn't even try to run, like i used to. the cops looked at me and my friends, who brought their wives and kids and a dog, and just told us to be careful, and don't bug the neighbors.

20 something years ago (about the time these two cops were born,) it woulda been a full on scramble over the fence and a chase through the neighborhood...

 

[Kevlarr]

Damn, I'm a geezer at 43.

Favorite one is when a store clerk asks for my ID when I buy beer and I tell them I have a kid older then they are.

 

[bbb]

My Name Is __________, And I Was Sitting In The Waiting Room For My First
Appointment With A New Dentist.

I Noticed His Dds Diploma, Which Bore His Full Name.

Suddenly, I Remembered That A Tall, Handsome, Dark-haired Boy With The Same
Name Had Been In My

High School Class Some 30-odd Years Ago.



Could He Be The Same Guy That I Had A Secret Crush On Way Back Then?



Upon Seeing Him, However, I Quickly Discarded Any Such Thought.



This Balding, Gray-haired Man With The Deeply Lined Face Was Way Too Old To
Have Been My Classmate.



After He Examined My Teeth, I Asked Him If He Had Attended Morgan Park High
School..



'yes. Yes, I Did . . . I'm A Mustang,' He Gleamed With Pride.



'when Did You Graduate?' I Asked.



He Answered, 'in 1975. Why Do You Ask?'



'you Were In My Class!', I Exclaimed.



He Looked At Me Closely.



Then, That Ugly,



Old,



Bald,



Wrinkled,



Fat Ass,



Gray-haired,



Decrepit,



Son-of-a-***** Asked,



'what Did You Teach???

 

[Kevlarr]

Now I don't care who you are that right there IS THE funny!!!!

 

[Dan]

My Name Is __________, And I Was Sitting In The Waiting Room For My First
Appointment With A New Dentist.

I Noticed His Dds Diploma, Which Bore His Full Name.

Suddenly, I Remembered That A Tall, Handsome, Dark-haired Boy With The Same
Name Had Been In My

High School Class Some 30-odd Years Ago.



Could He Be The Same Guy That I Had A Secret Crush On Way Back Then?



Upon Seeing Him, However, I Quickly Discarded Any Such Thought.



This Balding, Gray-haired Man With The Deeply Lined Face Was Way Too Old To
Have Been My Classmate.



After He Examined My Teeth, I Asked Him If He Had Attended Morgan Park High
School..



'yes. Yes, I Did . . . I'm A Mustang,' He Gleamed With Pride.



'when Did You Graduate?' I Asked.



He Answered, 'in 1975. Why Do You Ask?'



'you Were In My Class!', I Exclaimed.



He Looked At Me Closely.



Then, That Ugly,



Old,



Bald,



Wrinkled,



Fat Ass,



Gray-haired,



Decrepit,



Son-of-a-***** Asked,



'what Did You Teach???

Harrr, snork snork!!!! that was good

 

[Michigan Mike]

I hear you all !!! Here's a few more that come to mind ....

YOU MIGHT BE A GEEZER IF:

You have to RUN behind your "walk-behind" lawn mower.

Your favorite TV shows are from the LAST CENTURY!

You ever owned a typewriter.

You remember when $2 bought enough gasoline for the weekend.

You learned to drive in a car that had a 3-speed stick shift on the column.

You know where bacon comes from.

.

 

[fasteddy]

bbb- thank you! I can tell that one down at the senior center a few times.
The nice part is I can make the rounds 2 or 3 times before they remember that they have heard it before.

Steve.

 

[bbb]

1st time i read it i was completely caught off guard by the punch line...told it lots and everybody can relate.

 

[Dan]

" You know where bacon comes from." Harrr! lol

Tell folks "we used to have to get up to change the channel. "Dial" a phone. Need a dime for the pay-phone. I know I have more but forget. snork

 

[fasteddy]

Dan, if you can remember when.

$1=4gals gas.
10 cents bought a soda.
Play Boy Magazine was hot stuff.
10 cent comics.
Candy stores.
10 cent draft beer.
A new pick up truck was under $2,000.
In the rust belt a $100 used car had a floor.
A $50 used car didn't.
Snow was fun.
Sex was more fun.
Down South in the winter was a vacation, not a must have.
And the best part of life is listening to your kids complain about thier kids.
Which is proof that Grand Children are a Grand Parents Revenge.

Steve.

 

[Zev0]

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

"May I see the new baby?" I asked?

"Not yet," she said, "I'll make coffee, and we can visit for a while first."

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, "May I see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," she said.

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, "May I see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, "Well, when can I see the baby?"

"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told me.

"WHEN HE CRIES?" I demanded. "Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?"

"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!

 

[Dan]

Lololol Zev0!

(Is how I find my dreaded and hated cell)

-----------------------

 

[D.J.]

I was sitting in the barber chair and the cute lady barber said let me get that for you . I thought that she was talking about trimming my sideburns when she snipped my ear hairs off . It sounded like cutting wire with tin snips . .... D.J.

 

[Dan]

Dan, if you can remember when.

$1=4gals gas.
10 cents bought a soda.
Play Boy Magazine was hot stuff.
10 cent comics.
Candy stores.
10 cent draft beer.
A new pick up truck was under $2,000.
In the rust belt a $100 used car had a floor.
A $50 used car didn't.
Snow was fun.
Sex was more fun.
Down South in the winter was a vacation, not a must have.
And the best part of life is listening to your kids complain about thier kids.
Which is proof that Grand Children are a Grand Parents Revenge.

Steve.

Steve, really and truly, you need to write a book! You do some great stuff! I mean it Buddy

 

[fasteddy]

Dan when I was I was in grade 7 I wrote a what I did this summer story.
The teacher asked if he could read it to the class because he thought it was that good.
His advice was what ever I did in my life I should be a writer.

Thank you. I may have if I knew where to start but as long as I don't offend to many people I'll probably never get the book done.

Steve Hemmingway