10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer

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Texhun

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Aug 2, 2011
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LOL Ibedayank! Actually I think these guys are feasting on left over tacos and tamales from the Mexican diner just down the road from their speed-trap while watching the radar. My shop is right next to the place and they and all the state-troopers and Marshals are there constantly for hours, no really HOURS! I've seen some those guys take a 3 hour lunch break. HEHEH, then I usually hop on my bike which is louder than the neighbors Harley and ride up and down the street. For some reason they never come out to see who it is. That diner has yet to have a day when a cop dosn't show up.
 

Ibedayank

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Oct 29, 2011
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Texhun
yeah theres a truckstop just up the road from me that is like that city cops sheriffs Dept. TN state police D.O.T. commercial enforcement and at times the feds
 

ProMcCown

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Mar 21, 2012
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One of the best episodes of COPS that I've seen is when this girl gets pulled over. Her and the officer go through the process and he decides to ticket her. She then says "I thought you didn't give pretty girls tickets?" and the officer lightly smirks and says "We don't, have a nice day" and hands her the ticket.
 

Dan

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May 25, 2008
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One of the best episodes of COPS that I've seen is when this girl gets pulled over. Her and the officer go through the process and he decides to ticket her. She then says "I thought you didn't give pretty girls tickets?" and the officer lightly smirks and says "We don't, have a nice day" and hands her the ticket.
LOL ProMcCowen!

Oh, OH, so so wrong. laff
 
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Dan

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May 25, 2008
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I have a courier biz. Had a contract delivering medications to assisted living facilities. Was waiting to get pulled over and hear the question;

"Any drugs in the car?"

"3 cloths baskets full. Why, what do you need?"
 

fasteddy

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Feb 13, 2009
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My old pal Larry used to introduce me as his friend Richard Head.

Of course the person always held his hand out and said Hi Dick.

We did play that a lot and it almost always worked.

Steve.
 

2door

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Sep 15, 2008
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Back when I lived in Miami I had a friend who was a Dade County deputy. He wore Gargoyle sunglasses like Arnie wore in the 'Terminator' movies. He told me he used to pull over female drivers and come up to the car and ask, "Are you Sara Conner?" The woman would say, "No" then my friend would say, "I'll be bock" and go get in his car and drive away. He said sometimes the woman would sit there for up to a half hour waiting for his return. Of course that was back in the 70s; maybe things have changed. :)

Tom
 

fasteddy

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Feb 13, 2009
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Elmo,
Wouldn't have the same impact. They remembered that your last name was Head and they just called you Dick instead of Richard.

The look on their faces was priceless since they realised just what they had done and didn't know whether they had just insulted you or not.

I got the pained smile/grimance down to an art form.

Steve.
 

fasteddy

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Feb 13, 2009
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The favorite thing the police in our area liked to use as a reason to pull you over was "other than original equipment or altering original equipment". Glasspack mufflers or blue dots in your tail lights were the favorites.

Shaved door handles got your car impounded since the claim was they couldn't open the doors to get you out if they needed to.

They used to give me repair tickets since I had blue dots. I could count on that at least twice a week and I would have to swap out the lights for stockers that I had in the trunk and get the ticket taken care of and reverse it all as soon as I got home.

Larry and I are mooching around looking for some action and we get pulled over. Now this guy is not impressed since he had pulled me over a couple of nights before and he's writing out a $20 ticket which took a fair bit of a weeks pay to settle.
I'm also getting the warning that this is the last warning and he will have the car impounded if he sees the blue dots again.

At this very moment Larry starts singing'

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy wuz he,
Fuzz.

The cop now starts writing another ticket, rips it out of the book and hands it to me. WTF?
He says "Hand it to the monkey.That will teach him to sing off key".

It was for disrespect of a police officer. Larry contributed another $50 to the court since he had to go before a judge due to the nature of the ticket.
He was highly insulted by the monkey remark. Don't imagine the monkeys were too happy about the comparison either.

Steve.
 

Allen_Wrench

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Feb 6, 2010
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Alright. Time for a little something from the past.

Back in Mansfield, me and my buddies Steve and Kenny are walking back to Steve's place late at night. It's the early 1990s. We were being loud and obnoxious along the way. A cop pulls up and asks us where we're headed. We tell him. He asks us if we know why he came to talk to us. We shrug. He says it's because he'd like us to keep it down; there's been a complaint.

And idiot/Kenny says "Oh, I thought you wanted to ask about my gun" and he pulls a small handgun out of his waistband! Everything started happening fast after that.

The cop had his own piece out and was barking orders to Kenny about dropping it (which he did). He was calling for backup, more yelling at Kenny, other cop cars pull up. At some point I must've sat down on the pavement.

The cop explained later to me and Steve that, although he never let us out of his sight, he didn't think we'd present much of a problem because, when Kenny pulled out what turned out to be a pellet gun, Steve and I turned whiter-than-white and our eyes practically jumped out of our heads. He said he could tell that it was clearly the last thing in the world that we expected.

Neither I nor Steve knew Kenny was carrying a realistic-looking pellet gun. And though he said he was just trying to be honest with the cop, Steve and I tore into him for the way he went about it.

I didn't hang out with Kenny much after that.
 
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RicksRides

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Feb 22, 2012
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Back in the early 90's, I was on a ride along with my wifes uncle. He pulls over a couple pot heads and we could see they where eating a rather large bag of reefer. We walk up to the side of the car, these kids had pot crumbs everywhere. The wife's uncle says to em " just kiddin " and we walk back too the car. This was back b4 I was hated by most of our city, county and state pork.
 

fasteddy

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RicksRides,

So you were known to the police too were you. Found out real early that everyone found it funny except the police. What a humorless bunch they are.

Steve.
 
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Allen_Wrench

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Feb 6, 2010
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Allen Wrench,
So you had a Larry in your life as well. Now I feel much better.

Steve.
Yup. I figure you get enough bachelors together in one place, one of 'em's a "Larry". Oh man, what Kenny pulled! - I was tempted to whoop his a$$ right in front of the cop. Kenny wasn't even as predictable as the weather.
 

fasteddy

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Feb 13, 2009
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Larry liked to turn the tables on me if he thought it was "fun". We're making a beer run to Niagara Falls/Buffalo N.Y. It's 18 there and 21 in Canada.
Dark winters night and Larry and another guy are in the back seat. Same road that the cop's busted him on a short time before.

Suddenly he yells out "This guy wants a race and without thinking the foot hit the floor and we're off at a high rate of speed. I look out the drivers window just in time to see the light on the fender come on. STOP-POLICE Two more weeks pay gone and so our friendship started to wain.
Ya never sh8t on me twice and he knew but he did.

Steve
 
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RicksRides

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Feb 22, 2012
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osceola IN
RicksRides,

So you were known to the police too were you. Found out real early that everyone found it funny except the police. What a humorless bunch they are.

Steve.
LOL yup, Their first real taste of me came when a few of us started a group years ago (mid 90's)to police the cops. We were tired of their crap. Things like video taping them at the bar , then driving home in their squad cars. Pushed one right out of the closet( took pics of him and his lover then sent copies to his wife, children, parents and cheif of police)Caught one on tape doing a hooker in the back seat of his squad car. Things of that nature. Needless to say they didnt like me then and it got worse as I got more politically active.Ive been charged 3 times for assualt & battery on a police officer all 3 cases dismissed by the judge on constitutional grounds. Charged with intimidation of an officer,offered him a chance to get in the ring with me so I could whoop his a$$, charges dropped. Judge said it was an invatation not intimidation. they tried to charge me with stalking a police officer, what they didnt know was I had been issued my P.I. liscence(50$)Judge dropped that charge cuase I was on the "job". So you can probably imagine the HARD-ON they have for me even now. Heres a funny but sadly true story, They decided to try and get anything they could on me. Ive got 5 acres here mostly surrounded by woods. So they went all secret squirell and hid in the woods watching a party we were having and one of my brothers spotted them and let me know. Earlier that day we had a Nubian goat die. Since the cops were watching we dug a hole to bury the goat, 4 of us went into the barn and put the goat in a body bag. I then fire off 2 rounds from my 12 ga. #of us the walk out of the barn and put the goat in the hole a proceed to fill in the hole, within a minute here come all these cops pionting their weapons at us and yellin command and laughing " We've got you now". A couple of em jump down in the hole and un bury the goat. Bet you can guess how was laughing their a$$es off when they opened that bag and found a goat. I still get the giggles thinkin bout it.