Cheesy Bike Jokes Anyone?

B

BooneHomes

New Member
1. Going Deaf

A tandem rider is stopped by a police car.

"What've I done, officer?" asks the rider.

"Perhaps you didn't notice sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back . . ."

"Oh, thank God for that," says the rider - "I thought I'd gone deaf!"
 
While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard. "Sand," said the cyclist. "Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smu ggling?" "Bicycles!"
 
a guy riding his bike is forced into the curb by a car with 2 young dudes in it, causing him to crash, there laughing it up like it's real funny. he catch's up when there stoped at the next red light. gets off his bike, walks up to the drivers side and punch's the driver right in the head, then walks around to the other side and punch's the passenger too. the kid says, hey why'd you hit me he was driving. biker says, thats for when you get a mile down the road and say to your friend, man i wish that dude would of hit me like that.
 
ok another newfie joke

A traffic cop sitting in a parking lot eating a jelly donut notices a newfie riding down the street and watches as he rides strait thru a red light .
The cop decides to follow the guy on the bike for a bit .
The newfie then rides strait thru 2 more red lights , but then he stops at the next light which was green .
the confused cop takes a bite of his jelly donut and proceeds to follow the guy on the bike .
The next light is green , and the newfie stops again . The light after that is red , and the newfie rides striat thru .
Confused , the cop puts down his jelly donut and pulls the newfie on the bike over .
You have me totally confused , are you colour blind or something ? says the cop , you are going to get your self killed .
Whatcha mean buay ? says the newfie .
Well , you ride strait thru the red lights and you stop for the green lights . somebody is going to come from the other way and run you over . What the mater with you , says the cop .
Dares nuttin a matter witt me buay , its me brudder .
Totaly confused the cop asks , Its you running the red lights , whats you brother have to do with it .
Well ya sees , i don,t wanna hit my brudder , says the newfie .
Lookin like he can,t remember where he set down his donut , the cop says , what ?
The newfie then replies , Well me brudder is out ridin his bike today too , an he rides just like me .
 
Theres a HUGE hill , and this newfie on a single speed bike is just struggling to peddal up .
once he gets to the top , he gets off the bike and walks it down the other side of the hill .
i ask him when he gets to the bottom , is the hill too steep for ya , ya scared to ride down ,
No buay , its just a lot easier pushin this bike downhill .
 
Har guys, lol.


fairracing31 said:
While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard. "Sand," said the cyclist. "Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smu ggling?" "Bicycles!"
Click to expand...

Lesson to be learned there El
 
Two Kerrymen were sitting in a pub when the Tour de France came onto the television. The two lads watched the cyclists for a while when one asked,

“Why do they do that?”

“Do what?” said the other.

“Go on them bikes for miles and miles, up and down the hills, round the bends. Day after day, week after week. No matter if it’s icy, raining, snowing, hailing . . . why would they torture themselves like that?”

“It’s all for the money,” says the other. “The winner gets half a million pounds.”

“I see.” says the first, “But why do the others do it?”
 
hey what starts with f and ends in k and means to screw someone.......401k
 
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Not really a joke but was funny. Guy on a Ninja pulls up to me at a stop light. Looks down, then back up in city trafic; "You must'a been really bored?" I laugh and we, in the same lane travel to the next red. I tell him my HF 79cc is a pump motor. Next light I show him my screen door, coat hanger throttle assembly. Next light I tell him my MPG and no need for insurance. Next light, "Where can I get one?"

Heres my card...
 
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Two old bike riders were stopped at a stop sign at a university campus, when one asked the other, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second biker replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first biker nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
 
2 college girls riding down the street decided to take a short cut through an old cobblestone alley one said I've never come this way before the other one said me neither.
 
So ther was this 10yr old boy slowly riding down the higway. This guy in a mustang pulls up and says "i got some rope in the back, I'll pull you." the boy agrees and they start of. About 34 miles later, the mustang is going 110mph and a state trooper starts chasing them. He radios his dispatcher saying
I quit. The dispatch says why. The trooper days theres this guy in a mustang going 110mph and he chat can't him. The dispatch says of course you can't catch him! Then the trooper says but there's a 10yr boy on a bicycle honking to pass him! (get, the boy was honking tobslow down, not
to pass him :D)
 
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