Spandex Tourons

[maniac57]

I hope I don't ruffle too many feathers when I say I find Lycra clothing to be a very good indication of a douc#$^ag. I have yet to meet a lycra wearing bicyclist who did not irritate me within a few minutes.
Just my experience but I avoid lycra wearing bikers like herpes.

 

[allen standley]

What ta **** did I jus saw.

 

[D.J.]

At least 3 of these guys are very happy to be wearing Spandex.

 

[rhodeisland]

I call the spandex bike riders with everything on that is streamlined aerodynamic Lance Armstroke.
Besides Lance was a Poser.

 

[maniac57]

I'm sure there are a few lycra wearing bicyclists somewhere that are not pretentious windbags, but I have yet to meet one.

 

[Trey]

I counted ten pairs of spandex shorts today. That also meant ten awesome low-wind-resistance helmets, ten pairs of $200 plus sunglasses, ten... well you get it.
Every summer I wonder, where do they all come from?!

 

[2door]

They came from Colorado where they were wearing the same designer clothes but made for skiing. 90% from Boulder.

Tom

 

[maniac57]

What kills me is watching these dinks ride around on bikes that cost more than my freaking rv!
If I EVER spend $5k on a bike, it's gonna be one bad-azz CUSTOM bike! Not some flyweight toothpick that rides like a razorblade...

 

[Trey]

Tom, we get about 90% more this time of year, so that makes sense. You know the way these people spend money traveling for seasons, it's almost like an exchange program. I think maybe the Big Sky tourons go your way for the summer, keep the demand for granola high for the returnees...?
Or maybe I'm a jerk; but I don't wear spandex, so the odds are in my favor.

 

[Allen_Wrench]

The polite cyclists tend to keep to themselves, and say nothing to me. And I'm okay with that.
The "spandexters" poke fun at my machine (I personally think it's cooler than theirs, but I don't come right out and say it) and then they want to raz me about wearing my khakis tucked into my socks and my laces tucked into my shoes. If it isn't bad enough we have motorists who believe cyclists OF ANY KIND don't belong on their road, we also have snobbish spandexters who don't want the likes of me anywhere NEAR their bike lanes. I don't ride in their lanes, mind you, but that isn't good enough. They want more elbow room to boot. Then they take to teasing me about my "eclectic contraption" and rustic attire. I'm starting to consider chucking jars of Grey Poupon at them.

 

[KCvale]

Then they take to teasing me about my "eclectic contraption" and rustic attire. I'm starting to consider chucking jars of Grey Poupon at them.

Priceless ;-}

 

[Trey]

I had to drive down to Jackson Hole Wyoming the other day. There is a bicycle tour/ festival/ convention deal going on in the general area of Yellowstone Park right now. Anyhow, after passing through a beautiful canyon, I spotted a whole herd of them. They were grooming themselves along the side of the road. Interesting animals, these. They had the gaudiest colors that Mother Nature never invented. Many had even moved into the streets of town, blocking traffic and grazing on $25 hamburgers.

 

[Trey]

Maybe I am more aware of these people, or maybe there are just more of them around here, I don't know. But first;
I was working in Red Lodge Montana for a few weeks. They were having a pre-Sturgis motorcycle festival, and I saw about a hundred different bikes a day- not exaggerating. There were more than that in town on any given day.
Of course I backed my rear wheel into the curb in whatever bunch of 50k+ cookie cutter motorcycles there were in front of wherever I wanted to be. Got funny looks from some, but most (especially Europeans) knew what my bike is and liked it. And it is true- girls like gasbikes! If I had a banana seat I coulda... but I digress.
Of all those bikes, there were only two that caught my attention. An old pan head Harley just like my dear ol moms, and an Indian that looked alot like my gasbike! THAT was the coolest thing in town.
Sooo, as I was leaving town, some bicycle road race was coming through. Spandex as far as the eye could see!!! In teams no less. A bunch of hot pink and green, then purple and white, yellow and blue, orange and... well, you get it. Each bunch of non natural colour explosions offered a new chuckle. I'm starting to like these people, if only for the entertainment value

 

[KenX]

Spandex is fine if that is what one wants to wear. I prefer cotton. I wasn't made for spandex. I may have to look away from some people wearing it that's my choice. But it's their choice on what to wear.

 

[Mike B]

How about people in plaid flannel shirts?

What? They think they are lumberjacks?

 

[Trey]

Gentlemen, the point is not freedom to wear the clothing of ones' choice, but the amount of humor we may gain by those individuals' choices.

Being a pale Irishman, I chose a large brimmed straw hat for working in the sun. I did not realize at the time that it was of a fashion preferred by the Hooterites. Well, my friends and co-workers have had quite a few laughs about shaving my beard to shape, or my going from Iraq to preacher, etc etc. I see the humor, and partake, but I'm still going to wear that hat. It blocks the sun.
I hope that all of these people who dress up in spandex to cut 0.0003 of a second off of their ride time are able to partake in the humor it presents, and still wear those outfits.
Otherwise there would be no new jokes in this thread.

 

[Trey]

It's getting cold, this has to be the end...

Big girl, big soda-pop, small bicycle (being pushed), and smaller spandex.

Maybe next season, when they migrate north from Colorado, we'll start this up again

 

[Trey]

They're back... and there's even more of them.

Today, while driving on a beautiful farm road just south of nowhere, there they were!
This is a two lane paved road with no shoulder at all. When I pass a tractor, one of us has to get in the ditch just a bit.
I don't believe these people have the survival instinct. At least those obnoxious colors allow me to see them miles ahead.

Also, they are all over town. Welcome to Bozeman tourons, stay alert- stay alive.

 

[2door]

If they're coming from Colorado I'd guess 90% of them are from Boulder. That's where that mindset is the strongest. You wouldn't believe what I've seen in that weird little town.

Tom

 

[Intrepid Wheelwoman]

When I was still riding my vintage steel framed 10 speeds my clothing of choice was a black merino sweater, loose linen trousers tucked into long socks, leather fingerless gloves and old fashioned lace up basketball boots. Spandex? - I wouldn't have been seen dead in it. I've always been a tall skinny length of womanhood, but the idea of going about looking like I'm wearing nothing but body paint in public has never appealed to me for some reason.
I don't think much of fancy cycle clothing with brand names all over it either. I must confess though I always wanted a merino sweater with 'Rudge' on it; - I saw one once, but it was a shocking price.

The district where I live is good bicycling country and there are a number of regular cycle tour events during Summer so we see a lot of folk all dressed up in cycling gear riding bikes which cost far too much money. Quite a few locals are serious riders and they are generally Ok and often give me a wave when they see me out on one of my old bicycles. It seems to be the city riders who get into the whole ego thing and can be insufferable.

This is my old Morrison Concorde, made back when New Zealand still had a bicycle industry. Lots of old alloy parts (yay Suntour!), shellaced cotton tape on the handlebars and a leather 'Airbike' saddle. It's a lovely bike to ride