Dog Food Diet

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Buzzard

Member
Jul 9, 2008
264
5
18
Lincoln, NE
I stoppeed at the grocery store to pick up a bag of Science Diet Dog Food for my little pug Spanky. When the lady behind me asked Do you have a dog? I thought to myself gee lady I got a pet elephant. Being a crusty old fart I had to come up with something. I told her I was on a dog food diet and it works really well. You just put some of the little nuggets in your pocket and when you get hungry you munch on a few. By this time everyone in the check out line was listening to me. But I said I just got out of the hospital but 'I'm ready to try the diet again. She askd if I got poisoning from eating the dog food and I said no I was out riding around on my motor bike and I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and got hit by a car.
Some people just don't have a sense of humor. The grocery store said I can't shop there any more. I guess I'll be better off if I keep some of my thoughts to myself.
buzzard
 
Mike B

Mike B

New Member
Mar 23, 2011
2,256
7
0
Central CA
Lot's of stupid people out there, gotta know that up front.

Correct question - What kind of dog do you have?
 
Mike B

Mike B

New Member
Mar 23, 2011
2,256
7
0
Central CA
This could be a good thread...

Nah, This is for my ex-wife who took the dog after I left her for asking me stupid questions all the time.

Nah, I feed this to the birds. It makes them dizzy and it's big fun watching them fly around in circles.

Nah, I've got a cat but I always wanted a dog, so I'm hoping it will change.

:)
 
Toadmund

Toadmund

New Member
Jan 19, 2012
792
6
0
Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada
Me at Wal-Mart buying a big bag of cat food:
"Save a lot of money on grocery bills, this is my favourite kind!"

Not sure exactly what I said, but one of those times I said something like that, and I say these things fairly often, but I always say something like:
"No, it's for the cats, not me."

It's funny, the trying not to look too shocked, or think it's funny, or, the no joking, no sense of humour types, like I'm just a trying to be funny to impress her or something. That's if they are some females. But they are mostly female, What must it be like to feel you have try to repel someone? I can do that without even trying!

Oh yeah, the cat food.
Tastes great!
 
bairdco

bairdco

a guy who makes cool bikes
Aug 18, 2009
6,537
264
63
living the dream in southern california
i was in physical therapy last week for my shoulder, from the accident i had march 16th.

the therapist is pretty hot, which has nothing to do with this story, but she asked me if i was able to take off my shirt.

i said, "no, i've been wearing the same shirt since the accident..."

ya had to be there...
 
Mike B

Mike B

New Member
Mar 23, 2011
2,256
7
0
Central CA
Nah, but there's a homeless guy outside with a dog and the dog looks worse than he does.

Not yet, I'm on the way to rescue one though and I thought I'd go prepared. I'm a boyscout.

:)
 
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