My EPIDEMICALLY FAILED Motorbike

Yep, I bought me a Purty Blue Huffy Deluxe... For an Amazon Low dollar Scrap pile, I'll have to give it 3 outta 5 stars... it rolls... it did come with the 12 gauge spokes which I have a fetish for... and notoriously cheesy cream colored tires..
I put my Monark 2 springer & mini Apes on it... Cut the rear fender and rolled it for a second chain...
That is where everything went to ****....
The FedEx dude rolls in about then with my 4 stroke engine kit from Gbike...
I opened the box, first thing out was the motor box... I open the engine, ooohed and ahhhed for a while... Life was good...
until I opened the accessory box...
There deep inside the box, an ugly "eye" stared up at me... "That eye shouldn't be there", I thought....
What was this "eye"????
I had ordered the new kit 100 tooth pulley 12 tooth freewheel that is advertised on their website... We ALL KNOW THE WEBSITE says the one way bearing has been eliminated from the 80 tooth pulley, and this has been replaced with the 100/12 tooth freewheel...

So why was there a one way bearing staring me in the face? CRAP! I got an old kit! They sent me the wrong one!
I called them up... they say that if I will return it at my own expense, when they receive it the will send me the right one...
What? Are you serious? $349 + $30 shipping (twice so $60) and it is my responsibility..
I sent them an email with a picture of what was sent to me...
First they said that the part in the picture is the "new improved" 80 tooth one way bearing model...
I told them that was happy horse ****, that I know that no such part has been released...
Then they tell me they had to make sure I wasn't lying...
About what?
This evenings email tells me that my thirty day warrentee is already up... on a kit that was just delivered YESTERDAY, Oct. 9, 2013. I ordered it Oct.1, 2013... and my 30 day warrentee is up...
That's okay, I have Bank of America.... I have disputed the transaction, the cash is back in my bank account....
They didn't even offer to ship me the right transmission with a return shipping label, for an exchange...
So, Ive got a really cool un-motorized bike.... Purty blue though....lol

And I do have and will produce by posting the whole conversation here for open reading.. the emails from Gbike, Employee Mr. Aaron A, to back up my above claims..

Dang, I'm on the poop list, and can not purchase anymore trash, Oh gee, what have I done????
Now I will have to buy quality parts from someone who gives a ****... Like Dax...

And, yes I did go rounds with them about getting a busted cylinder replaced... I paid them up front for a new one, it finally showed up this last monday... the 7th...

They are not getting a dime, we are going to court...
Once in a Blue Moon, I do LOVE Bank of America!
And according to The Federal Consumer Protection Act, you can be SUED for advertising one thing, and shipping another... It is against the law...

Just food for thought, I am a CURRENT Notary Public in Oregon...
(that can be checked on the Oregon State website)
I work with lots of Attorneys off and on.. that is the funny part...

So, where was I before I left to take a leak....
Oh yeah....
So I'm hanging out on the net, looking for a solution to this problem....
In strolls this little Doll by the name of Dianne... Dang, she was looking good... And she smelled really good... She had that odor we all love on a woman... She smelled of Motorbike parts.... Lots of them... My instincts told me she must spend lots of time near a whole pile of them...
I'm old, and I don't have time for normal pick up lines, she's a woman, I knew what she wanted to hear....
I moseyed on over to her side of the net and in a low voice ask,
"how much?"......
"So you're the madmannart" she says..
"I've heard about you and
I've also heard you have a problem...
She told me about her stash, and I showed her my tranny...
She said, "yep, that is the junk bearing staring me in the face"....
Her kit costs a little more...
I had the cash for the kit, because Bank of America took it back from some unscrupulous Dudes....
But I didn't have enough for shipping...rats....
That's when this babe Dianne ups and does something them women never do...
She says "give me a minuet, and let me think"..
Next thing I know, she is shipping it free!..
Need parts or kits? Want some decent service... that symbol up top, the brown one that says BicycleEngines.com??? Yep, that is where that Dianne chick hangs out at...

Them unscrupulous dudes who sent me that crap?
Yeah that is going to end up costing me money... about $30 to send them their junk back...
Why did I ever give them a second chance? Am I really that stupid?
Not really... I believe that if you give a man enough rope, he will hang himself...
On the Ying/Yang of things...
I also believe that a man is obligated to learn to tie a very good knot, so that when the offender does make it to the end of the rope, it is a quick and clean kill.