Another FWD: Funny

Buzzard · May 25, 2011

Here's a great way to avoid the alcohol .08 issues and driving. I went out drinking with friends last night and tied one on. Knowing I was wasted, I did something I have never done before. I took a bus home. I arrived home safe and warm, which seemed really surprising as I have never driven a bus before.

This is The TAVERN ain't it?
buzzard

Dan · May 30, 2011

LOL Buzzard, that was good.

When I was a kid, my older brother snuck in the house just before dawn. I asked him how he got home knowing he had been to a bar to far away to walk. He trips/falls into his bed and says; "Bread truck"

Later that morning on my way to school I see a large bakery delivery truck parked carefully on a neighbor's front lawn.

2door · May 30, 2011

Isn't there an old story/joke about a drunk who drove off in a police car, and they found him the next morning because he'd parked it in his driveway? My memory is not that great but Buzzard's post reminded me but I don't remember the details.
Tom

fasteddy · May 30, 2011

My buddy and I were pretty well snapped up one night and on the way home at 3 am in his 1955 Studebaker coupe when the police who were going the other way took an unhealthy interest in us. Well it was unhealthy for us anyway.

The lights came on and he took off saying his Uncle and Aunt lived a few blocks away and we could hide in their driveway until it was clear to go. We lost them and all was well.

We're hiding in the car in his Uncles driveway and we hear the cruiser pull up and the door's close. Next thing is there are two flashlights shining in the and we're being told that we need to step out of the car.

At that moment his Uncle turned the porch light on and said, it's about time you boys got here and into the house we went and left the Uncle to talk to the cops.

My buddy went out to get the booze out of the car after the cops left and there were two nice, wet, tire tracks leading into the drive way from the puddle of water on the street left by the neighbour 4 doors down watering his lawn earlier in the evening.

Steve.

2door · May 30, 2011

Hmmmm, I seem to remember something about flashlights shining into the widows but for me there was a lady involved and something about, "The park closes at sunset and don't you have someplace else you can go?"
I also remember two big guys with badges and uniforms. But that was a few years ago.

Tom

fasteddy · May 30, 2011

Tom, I'll have to plead innocent on that one. I was just plain lucky there.

Did some of my best work in the back row of the Highway 27 Drive In Theater. At least I felt it was my best work. They had someone going around with a flashlight shining it in windows to keep things on the up and up until they got to another of my old pals one night who was tired of it and left a window open as he rocked the car back and forth so the kid with the flashlight would come running over to see what was going on.

The little twerp stuck his flashlight in the window and followed it into the car when Mario grabbed him. He drove up the the concession stand, opened the door and tossed in what was left of Mr Flashlight. He kept the flashlight as a trophy.

The drive in wisely stopped the morals patrol after that.

What a great time we grew up in.

Steve.

2door · May 30, 2011

Okay, now you've got me started.

In an old, 60s issue of Hot Rod Magazine there was a cartoon that showed a guy tearing into his engine at a drive-in movie. His girlfriend was setting in the hot rod, arms crossed and obviously disgruntled. The guy was explaining to the car next to him and the caption was, "She won't neck, and I've seen the movie."

A friend, my best at the time, and I got the idea to try something like the cartoon. We got an old oil pan, a couple of pistons and a few other parts and headed for the local drive-in, finding a place to park near a couple of other rods. We had pulled three plug wires so the engine was running bad when we pulled in. We jacked my car up, a 34 Ford coupe, and began making noises like we were working on the engine. As others watched we tossed out the oil pan, then a piston then another piston and kept making our wrenching noises while we drew an audience of 'car guys' wanting to know what we were doing. We put the plug wires back on, sneaked the oil pan and parts back in the car then started it up. It ran great after our 'rebuild' and we got an ovation from the people standing around and watching. This was in the summer of 1962. In July of 2007 I had a reunion with that old friend and we shared a good laugh about that summer night when we were just kids.
Tom

fasteddy · May 30, 2011

I've been chuckling about your car repair since I read it. That must have been more fun than enough. I think every guy was a car expert in those days. Just depended how many issues of Honk or Hop Up they had read.

My nephew just bought a 2010 Dodge Challenger 426 Hemi off the show room floor. When he opened the hood all I could see of the engine was the fuel injection system. Couldn't even see the block. No wonder the kids today rarely work on cars. They can't.

I'm hoping to get to see a couple of my old friends who were in on some of the things that happened in those years. Some have passed away and some disappeared over the years and are impossible to find as hard as I've tried.
My buddy with the 55 Studibaker is one of them.
Mario owns a jewelery store and I've heard from him once since 1969.

After my best friend died I called his brother and sister and brother in law who I hadn't seen since the early 70's and their first question was are you still messing with old cars. Nope, it's old furniture now.

They talked about some of the things we cooked up that would get us arrested today.

Steve.

2door · May 31, 2011

Steve,
I didn't think there was anyone left alive who remembered 'Honk'. How about 'Car Craft when it was that little 6" X 9" magazine and featured more about gocarts than hot rods.
And then there was Stroker McGurk? lol.
Tom

fasteddy · May 31, 2011

Yep, I remember the small car craft. There were a few of them at the time and if I remember right they were a quarter. Some were 35 cents. Had to dig into the paper route money pretty hard to buy them all.

Yes the Go Kart era. My buddy with the Studebacker made one out of 2x4's and 2 barn hinges for the steering spindles. He would steal the motor off his Dads Toro mower and take off.
One day I heard a lawn mower coming down the street and looked up just in time to see Larry drift into out driveway, race past me and leap off the Kart and drag it behind our house. Less than a minute later a cop went racing by looking up every drivway.
Larry lived ten miles away and I told him how to get to my house at school the day before so he thought he would visit.
We were 14 at the time.

His cousin built the same kart with a flat head Harley on it. He would shift that thing though the gear and neither one of them had brakes of any kind.

My old Dad said the kid had an 8 cylinder car and a 4 cylinder brain.
Together we were a pair that could beat a full house any day.

Stroker McGurk. A name that lives in old mens minds. LOL

Steve

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