incredibly bad jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?













































Bob.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?



A quarter pounder with cheese.

What Do You Call A Girl With One Leg Shorter Than The Other??
































"I`Lean"

guy goes into a bar with a giraffe. they both get stinking drunk, the giraffe passes out and the guy gets up to leave.

bartender says, "hey, you can't leave that lyin' there..."

the guy goes "that's not a lion..."

(*joke works better out loud.)

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried Chicken."
She said it wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, eveyone else in the class laughed.
My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried Chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken pork and beef.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why just like she'd asked to the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we adminre most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders",
Guess where I am now.....

2door said:

A horse walks into a bar and takes a seat. The bartender says..."Why the long face?"



An anteater walks into a bar....well, you know the rest.

Click to expand...

a giraffe walks into a bar and says, " the highballs are on me."




a baby seal walks into a club...

Went on a hike in the woods with 2 friends last week . After an hour or so we ran into a huge Diamondback Rattle Snake . As we stood there frozen my one friend said to us " Toyboat , Toyboat , Toyboat ."

If there are 2 cowboys in the kitchen, which one is the real cowboy?












The one on the range.

BARRY

a group of rich tree huggers bought a mountain in idaho to stop the loggers and help save spotted owls, the elderly woman who ran the group took all of them to the top and climed up the tallest tree to take a picture of there saved mountain. half way up she sliped and fell getting many large splinters in her groin. her friends rushed her to the local doctors office, after waiting many hours and getting very irate for the wait she demanded of the nurse what was taking so long. the nurse informed her that the doctor was still on the phone trying to get permission from the department of the interior to remove old growth timber from a recreation area and it might take awhile.

An pirates eye chart test

now cover one eye and read this line > R R R R R R R R R R R R R

What do you call a leper in your hot tub?




















Stew
What do you call a Japanese girl with one leg?





























Irene.