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The Tavern Kick off your shoes and sit back with your favorite beverage and enjoy talking about whatever you like.

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  #1  
Old 02-16-2009, 11:35 AM
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Spunout Spunout is offline
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Location: coventry, RI
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Default GREAT Craigslist ad

without an actual craigslist link, i cant verify this is true.
even if it isnt, its funny.






Subject: An ad on Craigslist...

To: The Guy Who Mugged Me in Downtown, Savannah, GA

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you
demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and
my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and
earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to
apologize.

I didn't expect you to **** your pants when I drew my pistol after
you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a
reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my
girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for
Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it
that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating
weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to
wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in
your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up
leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have
you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us
again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as
you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your
situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your
shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's,
along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet
itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be
on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel
recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a
little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that.
I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about
to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it.
Oh well.

So, about your pants; I know that I was a little rough on you when
you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it
up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like
to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you
used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or
powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll
reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be
so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch
and laundry.

Peace! - Alex
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sn0rk.
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You are one sick man spun, I like that quality in a person.
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  #2  
Old 02-16-2009, 02:01 PM
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azbill azbill is offline
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Location: Fountain Hills, Arizona
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Default Re: GREAT Craigslist ad

too funny ..
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  #3  
Old 02-16-2009, 05:29 PM
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POPS POPS is offline
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Location: Vancouver Island BC .Canada
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Default Re: GREAT Craigslist ad

"We'll do lunch"
Just desert ...POPS
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  #4  
Old 02-16-2009, 06:12 PM
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Spunout Spunout is offline
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Location: coventry, RI
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Default Re: GREAT Craigslist ad

Quote:
Originally Posted by POPS View Post
"We'll do lunch"
AND laundry! hahaha
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Originally Posted by Dan View Post
sn0rk.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikeguy Joe View Post
You are one sick man spun, I like that quality in a person.
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  #5  
Old 02-16-2009, 10:27 PM
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misteright1_99 misteright1_99 is offline
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Location: Treasure Coast, Florida
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Default Re: GREAT Craigslist ad

"You got the knife, I got the gun, C'mon boy lets have a little fun"....
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  #6  
Old 02-16-2009, 10:58 PM
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seca40 seca40 is offline
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Default Re: GREAT Craigslist ad

First rule of gunfighting. Bring a gun. 2A forever
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  #7  
Old 02-17-2009, 08:08 AM
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Pablo Pablo is offline
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Location: Duvall, WA PNW
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Default Re: GREAT Craigslist ad

I think it would have been easier to just shoot the mugger.

OTOH - that must have been in Seattle!
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  #8  
Old 02-20-2009, 10:03 AM
donuts31 donuts31 is offline
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Location: Colorado
Posts: 128
Default Re: GREAT Craigslist ad

A classic story. Studies prove that states with liberal concealed gun permits laws have lower rates of crime against person.

Want to have a little fun in Colorado? Open carry a piston to a local store or mall. The Californian refugees freak out!
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