Ole man and his motorized bicycle

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Al.Fisherman

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Sep 9, 2009
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Calera, Alabama
An elderly man on a Motorized Bicycle (MB), looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to a Doctor at a street light.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya Got there, sonny?"

The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 220 miles an hour!" states the doctor Proudly.

The motorized bicycle driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"

"No problem," replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his MB, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right.... But I'll stick with my dance1!"

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 150 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster!

"What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself.

He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 180 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the .trk!

Amazed that the xct2 could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the MB at 200 mph and he's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 220 mph.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the drn2 bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!

Suddenly, the :-|| plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive.

He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, "I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man whispers,
"Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!"


You've got to love those old people!!!
 

2door

Moderator
Staff member
Sep 15, 2008
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Littleton, Colorado
Re: Ole man and his MB

Sort of reminds me of an old song; "Beep beep, beep beep, his horn went beep beep beep" :)
Thanks Al. Enjoyed it.
Tom
 

NEAT TIMES

New Member
May 28, 2008
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Re: Ole man and his MB

Al
ha ha, that was a good laugh! My spender`s would have snapped!

Tom

beep beep! Was the the mustang towing the bike in the desert racing the vette??

Ron
 

2door

Moderator
Staff member
Sep 15, 2008
16,302
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Littleton, Colorado
Re: Ole man and his MB

Beep beep, was the Cadillac and Nash Rambler.

"While riding in my Cadillac, much to my surprise, a little Nash Rambler was following me, about one third my size..."
Come on Ron. You're old enough to remember that one. :)
Tom
 

Allen_Wrench

Resident Mad Scientist
Feb 6, 2010
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Indianapolis
Re: Ole man and his MB

I've got one that's for real, no bikes though: my wife sent me out to Meijer to pick up a few things after the kids went to sleep. So I'm driving down Kentucky Avenue late at night in the ole Dodge Caravan and I pull up to a stop light and, coming up beside me, roaring and snarling, is one seriously modified old Monte Carlo. Complete with teenagers. As we sit at the red light the driver, as a joke I'm sure, revs the engine until the car rocks like a hammock in a hurricane. As the passenger sees me looking and waves, I wave back. Then I realize "Crap! I've acknowledged them. Now they'll want to race."

I swear by all by all that's holy, this is what really happened: the very microsecond the light turns green my foot slips off the brake to mash suddenly down on the gas. Having nothing better to do at the time, I left it there. And next thing I know the Caravan's 3.3 liter is roaring louder than I've heard before. I DUSTED the kids in the Monte. ...But not for long.

When I got to 50 in a few seconds (speed limit's 45) I decided to play it safe and keep it there. All along I could hear that Monte coming up hard and heavy behind me. When I got to 50, he just flew by me doing Heaven-knows-what per hour. All of a sudden, from a dark patch between street lamps, right into my path came the red and blue lights. Six cop cars in all. They must have just finished up with an accident or maybe they were having a convention, dunno. But there was so much red, white and blue it reminded me of the 4th of July. I felt a little bad for the kids. I felt like I'd led a blind man to a hornet's nest.

But man what a ride! I think I need to check the exhaust manifold gasket now though.
 

2door

Moderator
Staff member
Sep 15, 2008
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Littleton, Colorado
Re: Ole man and his MB

We're robbing Al's thread but here's one that sounds like Allen's:

I was in the Air Force when the Boss 429 came out. I had to have one and I had the money. There was another guy who around that same time bought some kind of hemi Mopar thing. Sorry, I don't remember which one but, Cuda, Roadrunner, something, anyway, one afternoon we encountered each other at a stop light just off base in a small town that was right next to the air base. Hill Air Force base, Ogden Utah.

I saw the cop, apparently my buddy didn't. The black & white was at the corner to our left waiting for the green light. Jimmy, my opponent in the Mopar revved, I revved and when we got the green he went smoking off acoss the intersection while I pulled away at a respectable speed. The cop turned on the overheads, pulled out in front of me and nailed Jim about four blocks down the road. I drove by at a sedate speed and waved as I passed. Jimmy was really pi$$ed at me the next day. :)
I swear to this day I thought he'd seen that cop too.
Tom
 

Al.Fisherman

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Sep 9, 2009
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Calera, Alabama
Re: Ole man and his MB

Don't worry...Post your own funny story.

Mine when a teenager, driving a 1954 Pontiac Chieftain flat head 6 cyl on the tree. I stopped at a traffic light and some other kid pulled up beside me. He acted like he wanted to race (in a mid (50's) model Chevy). He kept patting the accelerator, well I did the same. Problem was that I didn't drag race on the streets. Light turns green, the kid floors it and not a block away gets pulled over by the police. Yea, I saw the police waiting. Smattazz me, I honked and waved as I went buy.
 

Buzzard

Member
Jul 9, 2008
264
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Lincoln, NE
Re: Ole man and his MB

Yo guys I'll throw one in here too. I had my 70 Dodge Charger and was heading up to Sioux City on I29 when a 57 Chevy pulled up along side me, I seen in my mirror he had a drop front end and a humped up back end with traction bars, we were doing about 70mph and motioned he wanted to run and shot out and took the lead, I cranked her up to about 90 mph , he hung in there but he was struggling, I pushed her up to 110 and walked away from him. When I looked in my mirror again I couldn't see the car for cloud of white and blue smoke. He may have been fast off the line but the little rat motor couldn't compete with the Dodge's 426 Hemi on the long run.' I told this to my Dad and he said it reminded him of the song Hot Rod Lincoln.
buzzard
 

Elmo

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Sep 3, 2009
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Mississippi
Re: Ole man and his MB

Back in 1973 my wife and I were out in my72 Pontiac Grand Prix with a 400 engine, it was respectable but no real drag car would only turn mid 13's. Sitting at a stop light a kid pulls up in a 440 Mopar with 2 fours on a tunnel ram poking through the hood with headers and rapping the engine like he wanted to race. My wife was driving and all I had to do was say nail it when the light turns green. She loved to hear the tires squall on that car so she did. I knew the Mopar would smoke my Pontiac but we were young and full of it. The Mopar backfired through the carbs and died on the line. When we were about a quarter mile down the road and doing the speed limit (45) he came by at about 100 or better. A Mississippi State trooper was coming the other way, did a uturn and chased him down. We blew the horn and waved when we passed by. I never saw that car on the road again.
 

Spaz_Static

New Member
Jul 24, 2011
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North Carolina, USA
Re: Ole man and his MB

Not my story, but it still makes me laugh...

< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... mad as heck
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the f--k out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
 

Allen_Wrench

Resident Mad Scientist
Feb 6, 2010
2,784
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36
Indianapolis
Re: Ole man and his MB

Not my story, but it still makes me laugh...

< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... mad as heck
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the f--k out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
See, it's an old, old joke: you were supposed to respond "Pilot's license?"
He would say "Yeah, you weren't driving too fast; you were FLYING TOO LOW!"
But y'all ruined it for him by havin' a Pilot's license.
What else could he do?