10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer

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Texhun

Texhun

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Aug 2, 2011
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I saw this a while back at a gas station hope you guys enjoy. 1: I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK IN TEXAS) 2:Sorry, Officer. I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3:Aren't you the guy from the village people? 4:Hey, you must have been doing about 125MPH to keep up with me, GOOD JOB! 5:Are you Andy or Barney? 6: I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. 7:You aren't going to check the trunk are you? 8: I pay your salary! 9: Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, so one of us does. 10: Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning too!. laff
 
NunyaBidness

NunyaBidness

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Jun 29, 2008
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memphis tn
A few years ago a friend of mine was moving and had rented a large moving truck. Since neither of them had any experience driving truck that big I volunteered. Oh, did I mention they were moving from the Navy base here at Millington?

Well I drove this big truck right up to the gate and the guard told me to pull up to the side. When he came walking up to me, telling me they had to look in the back, I looked at him with a big ole grin and said "Why we aint got nuthin' in there but some diesel fuel and fertilizer."

He started to auto-reply with "We gotta look in there anyway." and then he realized what I had just said. I admit it probably wasn't the smartest thing to say, but it did make those guys laugh.
 
Allen_Wrench

Allen_Wrench

Resident Mad Scientist
Feb 6, 2010
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Indianapolis
There's a tale I heard in college (so I don't know if it's true or not):
A woman gets pulled over by a state trooper and he asks for license, registration, & if she knew how fast, etc.
She offers that if he lets her go with a warning she'll buy tickets to the policeman's ball.
He replies that state policemen don't have balls.
And because she begins laughing hysterically, she guarantees the ticket.
 
bairdco

bairdco

a guy who makes cool bikes
Aug 18, 2009
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living the dream in southern california
NunyaBidness said:
... "Why we aint got nuthin' in there but some diesel fuel and fertilizer."...
Click to expand...
i did a lot of work near the Salton Sea and had to drive through the immigration checkpoints almost every day. those guys got to know us pretty well.

we had a box van, and everytime they'd ask me what i had in the back i'd give them some kinda stupid answer, like "it's full of mexicans..."

or fireworks, guns, and dead hookers.

they never once opened the back to check, just laughed and waved me through.

so, if i ever want to switch to a smuggling career, i know which routes to take...:)
 
F

fasteddy

Well-Known Member
Feb 13, 2009
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British Columbia Canada
I had a friend who was mentally as dangerous as a loose cannon on a heaving deck. You just never knew what would come out of his mouth when he was around cops.

He had a 1955 Studebaker coupe with a big Packard engine in it with 2X4s. The police stopped him going to Buffalo from Toronto at a furious pace.

We're in court to give the kid some support and the cop chasing him tells the judge that he was doing 120mph and Larry is pulling away from him.
The kid's up before the judge and the judge wants to know why he was going that fast.

Now we're all holding our breath and Larry looks at the judge in absolute disbelief and say 'Because the son of a bi*ch wouldn't go any faster".
You can only imagine the look on the judges face when he heard that. The court room is in an uproar. The police and everyone is laughing to the point tears are running down their cheeks. Everyone except the judge that is.

I picked the kid up 90 days later and $750, 1964 dollars lighter or at least his Dad was. I have forgotten how many points he lost as well but he wasn't that far from losing his licence for a year and the local police waited their chance for that full year.

That was definately something not to tell the judge.

Steve.
 
RicksRides

RicksRides

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Feb 22, 2012
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osceola IN
I found out some time ago Here in Indiana to become an officer you dont need to pass any kind of Physical endurance testing nor do they have to past any test concerning FIREARMS requiring them to do so would be discriminating too fat guys with no aim. I may be pudgy, but my aim is perfect!
 
Texhun

Texhun

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Aug 2, 2011
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Rosebud Texas
LOL Rick! Yes that would be very displeasing for the big guy to not be able shoot properly. I'm no cop and not planning on becoming one and I too am on the heavy side of life, but I can hit a 6" plate repeatedly from a 100yards with my Browning Buckmark. LOL I think every big cop should atleast have a sense of humor. My Dad and brother went in to this gas station in Indiana and there was a HUGE Deputy-Sheriff (off-duty) sitting next to the door and just smiles, holds out his hand and says. Hi there, my name is Manure, grab a handful. Of course everyone died laughing.
 
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RicksRides

RicksRides

Member
Feb 22, 2012
864
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osceola IN
I was a U S Army sniper, got out in 90. If I can see em I can flip their switch. I go thru 4-5 hundred rounds a week, keeping sharp,thank god I reload my own. Ive got rifle range out back.
 
Texhun

Texhun

New Member
Aug 2, 2011
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Rosebud Texas
It would be nice if the cops around here in Texas were as quick to respond to a burglary as they are drawing their radarguns. They try to peg me every time I drive my old BMW or when I ride my MB. They always deem me as very suspicious.:rolleyes: They are always just waiting for me to run that next stop sign. LOL
 
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Ibedayank

Ibedayank

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Oct 29, 2011
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Columbia Tennessee
Texhun '

ever try chasing somebody on foot when your eating a jam filled longjohn??
now you know why they would rather stare at the screen on the radar gun
 
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