Living a Moderator's life

GoldenMotor.com

2door

Moderator
Staff member
Sep 15, 2008
16,302
175
63
Littleton, Colorado
How does a moderator do his job on this website ? Does it require long hours at the screen ? Are there designated times you check in ? Do you get any sleep ? Are there any perks ? Is there an alarm bell that goes off for each new post ?Do you only use a laptop or desktop to do your job ? Do you read and edit everything posted ? Do you wear a uniform or badge ? Do you take an oath ? Just thought it would be an interesting topic .
Actually Leftywoody,
We are all sworn to secrecy about our job. It's one of those, "If we told you, we'd have to kill you" things. We train at Quantico and Langley Virginia and various other, sometimes exotic locations and some of our classmates go on to other jobs that...well... we can't discuss those either. Do you remember the guy who jumped on the back of JFK's lemo in Dallas?...yes, he was a moderator. Did you ever see, "Men in Black' ? Remember that written test they had to take? Questions like, "Which is prettier, red or blue? Those are the kinds of things we had to go through to achieve the position. We only sleep about two hours a day and the other 22 we spend in front of out monitors so you and the other members will never know where the best deals are on Viagra or where to look for the hottest dates. You might see us talking to our wrist watches. That's a sure clue that a new post has arrived on the forum that needs our immediate attention. I happen to have a pair of wraparound sunglasses that double as a transceiver. We're totally committed to the hobby and to motorized bicycles in general. We are paid an exobitant salary for our services, the amount is top secret but I just paid cash for a villa in the south of France, if that gives you a clue.
We often wear disguises, I came here once as George Bush and no one knew the difference. All moderators are combat trained, proficient in hand to hand combat and we have extensive counterintelligence and jungle survival training. It is a demanding and thankless job but...as they say; "Someone has to do it".
So the next time you see a locked thread or wonder why you don't see page after page of adds for pharmaceuticals...thank a moderator, and know that we're always here, always on the job and watching after you...Sleep well, your forum is safe tonight.
Tom
 

BarelyAWake

New Member
Jul 21, 2009
7,194
21
0
Maine
Actually Leftywoody,
We are all sworn to secrecy about our job. It's one of those, "If we told you, we'd have to kill you" things. We train at Quantico and Langley Virginia and various other, sometimes exotic locations and some of our classmates go on to other jobs that...well... we can't discuss those either. Do you remember the guy who jumped on the back of JFK's lemo in Dallas?...yes, he was a moderator. Did you ever see, "Men in Black' ? Remember that written test they had to take? Questions like, "Which is prettier, red or blue? Those are the kinds of things we had to go through to achieve the position. We only sleep about two hours a day and the other 22 we spend in front of out monitors so you and the other members will never know where the best deals are on Viagra or where to look for the hottest dates. You might see us talking to our wrist watches. That's a sure clue that a new post has arrived on the forum that needs our immediate attention. I happen to have a pair of wraparound sunglasses that double as a transceiver. We're totally committed to the hobby and to motorized bicycles in general. We are paid an exobitant salary for our services, the amount is top secret but I just paid cash for a villa in the south of France, if that gives you a clue.
We often wear disguises, I came here once as George Bush and no one knew the difference. All moderators are combat trained, proficient in hand to hand combat and we have extensive counterintelligence and jungle survival training. It is a demanding and thankless job but...as they say; "Someone has to do it".
So the next time you see a locked thread or wonder why you don't see page after page of adds for pharmaceuticals...thank a moderator, and know that we're always here, always on the job and watching after you...Sleep well, your forum is safe tonight.
Tom
Sleep about two hours a day? SLACKER! No wonder all is chaos o.o
 

Bikeguy Joe

Godfather of Motorized Bicycles
Jan 8, 2008
11,837
252
63
up north now
Hasn't anyone seen the connection between where I live and the old Ashtabula bike factory?

Coincidence or conspiracy?
 

leftywoody

Member
Aug 23, 2008
405
0
16
Lagrange Indiana
:)Was that you Joe I saw flying over my house in a gyrocopter taking pictures of my home and putting them in your secret file ? By the way you are welcome any time to do that during mosquito season as long as you keep running your flying machine oil-rich .
 

Attachments

Finfan

New Member
Aug 29, 2008
871
2
0
Tucson, AZ USA
From what I can tell a moderator has to be able to do the following:

Herd cats.
Fight fires.
Run a Kindergarten class.
Understand the basics of diplomacy.
Leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Know what people mean in spite of what they say.
Do all this for nothing while taking flack for keeping order.

For me personally you couldn't pay me enough to take the job!
 

Bikeguy Joe

Godfather of Motorized Bicycles
Jan 8, 2008
11,837
252
63
up north now
From what I can tell a moderator has to be able to do the following:

Herd cats.
Fight fires.
Run a Kindergarten class.
Understand the basics of diplomacy.
Leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Know what people mean in spite of what they say.
Do all this for nothing while taking flack for keeping order.

For me personally you couldn't pay me enough to take the job!
You have hit the nail on the head, except the "Do all this for nothing" part. We get paid an extremely high compensation.

Oh yeah, and being able to nail jello to a tree.
 

Norman

LORD VADER Moderator
Jan 16, 2008
2,606
7
38
71
pampa texas
I got my $10,000.00 check today in the mail thanks Boss for the pay check. Now I can buy Rufus some Kat treats. Did the rest of you Mods get your check yet?
Norman
 

Salty Gator

New Member
Aug 3, 2009
672
0
0
Florida
Actually Leftywoody,
We are all sworn to secrecy about our job. It's one of those, "If we told you, we'd have to kill you" things. We train at Quantico and Langley Virginia and various other, sometimes exotic locations and some of our classmates go on to other jobs that...well... we can't discuss those either. Do you remember the guy who jumped on the back of JFK's lemo in Dallas?...yes, he was a moderator. Did you ever see, "Men in Black' ? Remember that written test they had to take? Questions like, "Which is prettier, red or blue? Those are the kinds of things we had to go through to achieve the position. We only sleep about two hours a day and the other 22 we spend in front of out monitors so you and the other members will never know where the best deals are on Viagra or where to look for the hottest dates. You might see us talking to our wrist watches. That's a sure clue that a new post has arrived on the forum that needs our immediate attention. I happen to have a pair of wraparound sunglasses that double as a transceiver. We're totally committed to the hobby and to motorized bicycles in general. We are paid an exobitant salary for our services, the amount is top secret but I just paid cash for a villa in the south of France, if that gives you a clue.
We often wear disguises, I came here once as George Bush and no one knew the difference. All moderators are combat trained, proficient in hand to hand combat and we have extensive counterintelligence and jungle survival training. It is a demanding and thankless job but...as they say; "Someone has to do it".
So the next time you see a locked thread or wonder why you don't see page after page of adds for pharmaceuticals...thank a moderator, and know that we're always here, always on the job and watching after you...Sleep well, your forum is safe tonight.



LOL !......" The Good Shepherd "......" The Bourne Ultimatum "......hahahahaha



Thanks for the Laugh,Tom
Salty.shft.
 

2door

Moderator
Staff member
Sep 15, 2008
16,302
175
63
Littleton, Colorado
I got my $10,000.00 check today in the mail thanks Boss for the pay check. Now I can buy Rufus some Kat treats. Did the rest of you Mods get your check yet?
Norman
I got mine but Paul took a little too much out for taxes this time. I need a shelter.
Tom