Re: becoming worried
And I'll hijack the thread a bit more.
I just love a good steak. Of course. Who doesn't? But it no longer matters to me just how it's cooked.
I have a long history of being one of the world's great eaters. And I actually can still stuff my belly with a pretty amazing amount of food. Yet I've found that I pretty much have to stop it.
Since having reached a state of advanced youth I've discovered that it's just not worth it. It holds me down. And not in any obvious way. It's not like I'll fall asleep or a can't get myself to move. Nothing like that. I guess the best way to put it is that I feel kinda uncomfortable for some time. And if I eat a lot the next day, then that feeling becomes continuous.
So now I eat a lot of ramen. Lunch is often a thin bologna sandwich and a sack of Ruffles or Cheetohs.
The cashiers at the local grocery probably feel real sorry for me. Thinking that I'm dirt poor with my ratty pickup truck, apparently home-made 'motorcycle' and cheap diet.
But that doesn't matter nearly as much as the fact that I really still would like to eat a burrito as large as a loaf of bread. Or seven slices of pizza. Or a gallon of sphaggetti plus a loaf of garlic bread. To make it worse, I can still do it. It's just not worth it. So I have to put up with the tension between the temptation on one hand and my better judgement on the other.
I have a gift certificate right now for a local steakhouse. Dinner for two. This is the sort of place where I could eat a meal that would total $100. I'm actually hesitant to go through with it. I've been pondering just eating the steak and the appetizer and leaving the potato and the salad and such. But that seems kinda lame. And wasteful.
It's available to me. Yet I just don't really want to do it. It's surreal.