LOL, SB. "marry" is a nautical thing. You bend or marry two lines or what ever, together. I was half asleep and forgot to translate into regular, normal people speak.
What I am gonna try is the treaded short aluminum pipe and cap as a filler and brass fittings and nuts with washers for the petcock. Unless I can find em in alum.
Truly funny. When you said "contributing to the delinquency of a Senior" Made me think of you and Steve, but as the "bowery boys" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu8cQNLyL_I