You all never heard of biker bells?
The woman that loves ya can buy you one of these, she must attach it to the gremlin ridden bike in question. You must not touch it.
Your bad luck will clear right up.
This dates back to the early 70's, I first saw them in an EasyRiders magazine way back then.
I guess they work on our bicycles, since they gots an engine!
I had one on a Yamaha Roadstar, ran over a piece of junk in the road like a knife blade, slit the tire deep for about 4", and never went flat. Never laid that bike down once.