Originally Posted by kevinkrg6
... I would likely buy a GPS tracker for sure. ...
I haven't ever heard of any GPS device that is appropriate for concealing on a bicycle. All the ones I've seen would be easily discovered and removed. Plus, most of them need a 12V power source.
... But I even contemplate going further - wiring a stun gun so that vibration for more than 1 minute (meaning someone would have to be riding it) would set the shock to the handlebars (poor rider lol). Is that illegal? ...
In the US, yes.
Probably the easiest way would be to use at least two different GOOD locks to lock it up (like a pair of Kryptonite New York chain/locks, both through the frame & both wheels) but that's still not going to keep people from messing with it. And you really need to find out where you would be allowed to ride it at all on campus, and where you could store it first (before taking it there at all).
To secure parts, you use allen bolts (get rid of the seat quick-release and get a bolt for it) and then you tighten ALL the bolts like you want, then you use crazy glue to glue a BB into each one. To remove the bolts you need to use something to dissolve the crazy glue first, to get the BB out.
Alternately, you get a beater bike for college.
Craigslist a cheap cruiser bike, put a rear rack & front basket on it (you WILL end up carrying stuff on it). Look for a single-speed coaster brake, or a 3-speed coaster brake if you want gears. No quick-release parts at all, and get a good lock.