I keep seeing a bike frame up on cinder blocks in my head, lol.
I wonder how hard it would be to hook up some sorta lojack system. Solar powered threw a pay as ya go cell phone with a GPS locator system? Hide it under the seat. As long as your not making phone calls, would be free? Or, even with out solar, would only have to charge it once a week or so.
Like the commercial, "Oh, I know where your at"