I’ve been lying abed in the pre- light as night gives way to dawn, quietly processing what has happened of late. Last night I realized that with donations yesterday you good people who I have never seen in the physical world have bought my truck. You will recall I had budgeted one thousand dollars for a vehicle and found one listed for one thousand dollars and last night tallied things up and you have given me one thousand dollars. More synchronicity… something is going on. You bought my truck. You people who I have only known in cyberspace, but live in places like Ohio and Arizona and Florida and a place called Thunder Bay, Ontario among many others have come together through this forum and done something quite beautiful in my estimation. I recall suggesting in another thread at another time that this invisible place in the ethers where we cannot see each other and care not for what age, race, religion or gender might make us all appear to be vastly different.. We are blind here to these outward differences and are drawn by the light of a common passion for these little conveyances we tinker with which help us enjoy our lives more fully. I had the thought that as such cyberspace is a kind of spiritual domain, or at least can be and it is why I like it. We are less distracted here by the outward things and listen to each other more closely in the privacy of our keyboards and screens and electrons flowing in streams and great rivers of intelligent digital energy.
For me, something big has been going on in this past week since the fire. Fifteen years ago I was struck by lightning which has been described to me as galactic as it carries the full band width of energy… sound and light, electrical, infrared, microwave and all of it in one flash of light and transforming energy. Lightning entered my ear and literally cooked (microwaved) the front lobe of my brain as it passed through. I don’t really have any explanation for how it is that I’m able to think and write this communication or even justify being alive, but here I am. As with this recent fire, much was lost on a physical level. The fire consumed the truck, tools, possessions, bikes and dreams leaving a large numb spot, a kind of blank hole. In a similar way lightning took away whole chunks of long term memory, impaired short term memory, impaired hearing and a left a loud and constant noise in my head.. I was tired all the time, confused and had a severely damaged nervous system which led eventually to a rare disease called Guillane Barre Syndrome which is like polio and is now believed to be what former president Roosevelt had and not polio. My life had a big hole in it and I withdrew into the forest, divorced and was in a kind of shadowland. It was in that time that I found my little rescue dog Aaniimoosh who was also traumatized… had been thrown from a moving car as a puppy and ended up in a rescue shelter in South Dakota. In more of the same kind of synchronicity I have described with the Cherokee prayer and Cherokee truck, the one thousand dollars repeating itself, this little dog in a far away shelter several states away came into my life. No need to describe that here, but it was an unlikely finding of each other. This fearful, quivering puppy and I spent a long Minnesota winter sleeping near my woodstove which I hobbled about feeding with wood to keep us from freezing. We were both in the shadowlands. My heart went out to this little being as I came to know her and watched as her confidence grew and with it her love for me. We were like cellmates in that trailer without running water or much in creature comfort, imprisoned by subzero winter, but we shared what we had, our food and our warmth. In reaching out to her I found my way out of the darkness as she became my seeing eye dog.. Depression lifted as winter gave way to spring. She was bigger now, her wag was strong and she knew she had someone safe to be her source of good things. She had the odd habit of curling her lips in a kind of excitement when she first saw me in the mornings… what I call a grin. She looks like a smiling little Ewok from Star Wars when she does that… and I laughed when I saw it which made her grin all the more. Laughter is such good medicine. So her therapist had two legs and mine had four. We made it and I discovered that the hole from lighting had filled in and that what I lost on a physical level was compensated for with an increased spiritual presence. I think I’m a better and more compassionate person post strike and while I’m not going out of my way to find another lightning bolt, I’m also not sorry it happened and even feel that it was meant to. I believe that lightning bolt had my name on it and was sent from Spirit and that I kept my appointment with destiny.
Something of similar kind has happened this past week. The great numbing hole the fire left has been filled in by your compassion, your generosity, your kindness. I can’t say that I’m glad for the fire or the things lost, but I wouldn’t have experienced this coming together of the past week had it not. Once again I lost on the physical level and gained many times over in the spiritual domain. I have friends I didn’t know I had. How rich is that? My estimation of the inherent goodness of people outweighs all of the bad news blaring from the newscasters, thanks to you good people. It restores my faith in the ideas of brotherhood and sisterhood in this family of man, this humanity of spirit. Before I leave on my journey I will be doing a pipe ceremony of thanksgiving and all of you will be there in my thoughts and prayers as tobacco is burned in the alter of the sacred pipe, is transformed by fire and rises to the heavens as smoke, as prayer, as an offering to the Great Spirit.
Miigwetch (thank you).
Someday when I grow up I will probably lose interest in toys with wheels, but until then...