I think its a great start!
i would cut the time down to something around the 0:45 mark. keep it short and to the point to keep the customer watching.
-lose the burn outs, like said. i see you are taking care of that
-The multiple fly by shots got old after 2.
-the sparklie "Addicted motorbicycles" thing also was a little overdone.
-I would get some onboard footage of the ride, maybe a sweep over of the whole system and such.
hope this helps!
i look forward to the revised product!