 Stuff that should never be...
Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord, my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I hope my friends, my patents take;
Pet novelties; hamster wheel that pumps water for rodent to drink or runs lil generator for light./ window perches for cats. shaped like an air-conditioner, it jets out of window and is made of clear plastic. locked in by weight of window. is solar heated and gives cat good vantage point./ litter box with double bottom to let liquids drain away to compartment lined with news paper. far more sanitary and relives smell and eases cleaning./ Dog harnace with a shark fin. throw the ball in the watter and you see a dog head swimming with a shark fin. (way funnier when "jaws" was big/ sew watch to dog collier "watch dog"/ lever operated dog and cat dish. keeps food fresh and bug free (takes 2.3 seconds for them to learn they eat if they step on peddle)/ watter dish that has compartment with that blue freezer fluid stuff. put in freezer then pet has cold watter all day.
Misc; Mistletoe belt buckle/ Blue freezer liquid stuff beer mug can holder./ black throw rug with white chalk outline like a crime scene/ Fish tank that looks like microwave oven. when you turn it on it bubbles and appears as though fish are being boiled/ Office watter cooler fish tank with separate reservoir for drinking water. ppl see fish and you drink from it/ small hot-air balloons for promotion and lighting. powered by Sterno can./ normal house fan with heating duct filter mounted on back. cleans air/ solar oven. can power hot water for shower on boats, generate electricity and cook food./ candle operated coffee maker. works like a Mr. coffee but can run on kerosene, candle or Sterno/ solar assisted hot Thermos movie with poz folks dubing. bathroom weight scal that screams; "for the love of God get off!"
Is midnight and mind is going full blast, lol. I say we in room chip in and buy the rights to a spaghetti western and over dub the voices and make it a comedy. Imagine John Wain type gunslinger walking in to a western saloon and in a nessus type voice says; "give me 3 fingers of red eye" and a Chris or brighteyed like voice from bar tender answers; "ok pumpkin" (we could do it all on the web. just give every one a role of one of the characters and let them go)
We make it a cult thing by only letting college theaters play it on Saturday nites after midnight. college kids then make t-shirts and blog on myspace and youtube how hysterical our movie is. (not knowing them being drunk, young, stoned and down right silly is playing in to our greedy old folks ploy) create a cult classic.
We then take the proceeds and pay chinese company to produce a joke bathroom weight scale that screams; "For the love of God, get off" when you step on it. Then sell on QVC.
Then Pinkie, we try and take over the world.
Weapons; hand grenade in shape of Frisbee. allows you to throw grenade around corners./ anti missile, missile. as it gets close to in front of the incoming missile, it explodes a spider web like explosively charged wire rope. as it in tangles the weapon, the small explosions disable propulsion and hopefully detonate it mid-air./ steal shank in forearms of sleeves of coat to defend from knife or bat attacks
Gutter grabber. Mechanical hand that cleans gutters. With poker to clean down spouts.
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Normalcy ain't what it used to be.
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