Living a Moderator's life

leftywoody · #21 (**permalink**) 10-18-2009, 10:34 PM

Thanks a-dam for your thoughts on the post . I never claimed to be a good typist . And the older I get the more I space out .

DOC BOLM · #22 (**permalink**) 10-18-2009, 10:59 PM

If a thread gets locked,only happy has the keys to unlock it.Harleys Dad

**2door** · #23 (**permalink**) 10-18-2009, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leftywoody

How does a moderator do his job on this website ? Does it require long hours at the screen ? Are there designated times you check in ? Do you get any sleep ? Are there any perks ? Is there an alarm bell that goes off for each new post ?Do you only use a laptop or desktop to do your job ? Do you read and edit everything posted ? Do you wear a uniform or badge ? Do you take an oath ? Just thought it would be an interesting topic .

Actually Leftywoody,
We are all sworn to secrecy about our job. It's one of those, "If we told you, we'd have to kill you" things. We train at Quantico and Langley Virginia and various other, sometimes exotic locations and some of our classmates go on to other jobs that...well... we can't discuss those either. Do you remember the guy who jumped on the back of JFK's lemo in Dallas?...yes, he was a moderator. Did you ever see, "Men in Black' ? Remember that written test they had to take? Questions like, "Which is prettier, red or blue? Those are the kinds of things we had to go through to achieve the position. We only sleep about two hours a day and the other 22 we spend in front of out monitors so you and the other members will never know where the best deals are on Viagra or where to look for the hottest dates. You might see us talking to our wrist watches. That's a sure clue that a new post has arrived on the forum that needs our immediate attention. I happen to have a pair of wraparound sunglasses that double as a transceiver. We're totally committed to the hobby and to motorized bicycles in general. We are paid an exobitant salary for our services, the amount is top secret but I just paid cash for a villa in the south of France, if that gives you a clue.
We often wear disguises, I came here once as George Bush and no one knew the difference. All moderators are combat trained, proficient in hand to hand combat and we have extensive counterintelligence and jungle survival training. It is a demanding and thankless job but...as they say; "Someone has to do it".
So the next time you see a locked thread or wonder why you don't see page after page of adds for pharmaceuticals...thank a moderator, and know that we're always here, always on the job and watching after you...Sleep well, your forum is safe tonight.
Tom

bandito · #24 (**permalink**) 10-19-2009, 02:32 AM

Anyone smell that? I think I better put my rubber boots on so I dont step in it!

**BarelyAWake** · #25 (**permalink**) 10-19-2009, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2door

Actually Leftywoody,
We are all sworn to secrecy about our job. It's one of those, "If we told you, we'd have to kill you" things. We train at Quantico and Langley Virginia and various other, sometimes exotic locations and some of our classmates go on to other jobs that...well... we can't discuss those either. Do you remember the guy who jumped on the back of JFK's lemo in Dallas?...yes, he was a moderator. Did you ever see, "Men in Black' ? Remember that written test they had to take? Questions like, "Which is prettier, red or blue? Those are the kinds of things we had to go through to achieve the position. We only sleep about two hours a day and the other 22 we spend in front of out monitors so you and the other members will never know where the best deals are on Viagra or where to look for the hottest dates. You might see us talking to our wrist watches. That's a sure clue that a new post has arrived on the forum that needs our immediate attention. I happen to have a pair of wraparound sunglasses that double as a transceiver. We're totally committed to the hobby and to motorized bicycles in general. We are paid an exobitant salary for our services, the amount is top secret but I just paid cash for a villa in the south of France, if that gives you a clue.
We often wear disguises, I came here once as George Bush and no one knew the difference. All moderators are combat trained, proficient in hand to hand combat and we have extensive counterintelligence and jungle survival training. It is a demanding and thankless job but...as they say; "Someone has to do it".
So the next time you see a locked thread or wonder why you don't see page after page of adds for pharmaceuticals...thank a moderator, and know that we're always here, always on the job and watching after you...Sleep well, your forum is safe tonight.
Tom

Sleep about two hours a day? SLACKER! No wonder all is chaos o.o

**Bikeguy Joe** · #26 (**permalink**) 10-19-2009, 09:43 AM

Hasn't anyone seen the connection between where I live and the old Ashtabula bike factory?

Coincidence or conspiracy?

leftywoody · #27 (**permalink**) 10-19-2009, 10:52 AM

Was that you Joe I saw flying over my house in a gyrocopter taking pictures of my home and putting them in your secret file ? By the way you are welcome any time to do that during mosquito season as long as you keep running your flying machine oil-rich .

**Bikeguy Joe** · #28 (**permalink**) 10-19-2009, 03:20 PM

I know there are a lot of low flying helis around here come late summer.

bairdco · #29 (**permalink**) 10-19-2009, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bikeguy Joe

Hasn't anyone seen the connection between where I live and the old Ashtabula bike factory?

Coincidence or conspiracy?

yeah, i noticed that right off. i just scored a pair of NOS one piece cranks, in the box, for 5 bucks.

Finfan · #30 (**permalink**) 10-19-2009, 07:50 PM

From what I can tell a moderator has to be able to do the following:

Herd cats.
Fight fires.
Run a Kindergarten class.
Understand the basics of diplomacy.
Leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Know what people mean in spite of what they say.
Do all this for nothing while taking flack for keeping order.

For me personally you couldn't pay me enough to take the job!